Phone conversation with a potential flatmate:
Him: Wassappening? You still looking for a flitmate?
Me: (feeling unsure of him) er, yeah, maybe.
Him: Greet. I just arrived back into town from Sith Ifrica. I'm staying with a friend in Sith London. It's a wilderness, min.
Me: Well, if you're looking for a more Jewish life, North London is better
Him: Tell me abit it, darling - he actually called me darling? - it's the most God forsaken pleese on earth, Croydon.
Me: Well, I don't know about that - feeling duty bound to protect the interests of the good people of Croydon - anyway, tell me a bit about you, what you do, are you a smoker?
Him: No, smoking's a tirrible habit. I'm in North London tomorrow, hanging with me buddies, I'll be there at at 7.
Me: Well, I'm kinda working New York time right now, so it's going to be hard for me to get back that early...
Him: Whit time you at work till?
Me: I guess I'll get home around elevenish -
Him: Kim home, darling, you shouldn't be working thit leet.
Me: ... so, are you a meat eater?
Him: Yis, I love ma meat, makes me a man. You don't eat meat? That's tirrible.
Unusually unable to get out of this, I find myself making an arrangement with him I feel sure we'll end up cancelling
Me: so, Thursday at 7.30, cool. It's flat -
Him: what's this?
Me: The address. So you can get here
Him: Oh, I kint handle that
Me: - I know his sort - OK, well, call me when you get out of Kilburn tube, and I'll give you directions.
In the words of the song: what have I done?
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