Monday, February 23, 2004

Don't Mention The War

So I'm in a bar, and I'm telling my (two English) friends and their German guest about a mad flatmate I once had, and how her eating disorder meant that she officially only ate fruit and vegetables, but she'd eat everything in the house, generally at night, but obviously I couldn't ask her about it, because she denied any knowledge of it (er, hello, like there's no one else here) and it got out of hand. Sugar cravings, mostly, I was guessing. Party line? She didn't eat.

When she left, I cleaned out the larder, and realised that she'd carefully arranged its contents to make it look full.

Only I told it this way:

"I like to have full cupboards. You know, because of the war." Jewish-code for the feeling of self-protection and plentifulness one tries to engender. Awkward pause. Really awkward pause? "So, er, I was very surprised to open the cupboard and find she'd moved out with like half my food."


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