Sunday, May 15, 2005

Here is what I have surmised about my neighbour from this brief interlude:
  • She is going on holiday with her brother, even though (a) she is an adult woman with a partner, (b) he is wearing a trilby at 5am
  • They are going abroad, or at least somewhere that involves an airport. Because there is no reason on god's earth to get a taxi at 4.45 if you are not
  • Also, it is the airport, because he has that irrational panic people have when they think they are going to miss a plane. "Where's Lucy! The taxi's here!"
  • It's very possible her brother has Asbergers, or some other form of low-functioning autism, because the only way I could get him to stop was to go downstairs and talk to him through the glass door. I clearly told him what flat she lived in, and then he rang someone else.
  • Or, he's eccentric. Hat, that early in the morning. Even I don't do that.
  • She doesn't read her emails, because we are in the middle of buying our freehold, and if she's gone somewhere that involves airport travel, she won't be coming to our leaseholders meeting on Monday.
  • She has gone on this holiday - if it is one - with her brother, leaving her partner at home to play loud music and invite girls round. I have seen these girls: they have flat stomachs, pierced belly buttons and wear hoodies. If this was Bluewater, we'd have to arrest them.

    I know, I should stop my brain working and go back to bed. And I also know that when I tell my friends with children this story, attempting to elicit sympathy, but not in a passive-agressive way, they'll just - perhaps a little competitively - say, "that's nothing, I haven't slept for 2/3/5 years."

    D, on the other hand, has slept through most of this. I'm glad it wasn't the Nazis.
  • No comments: