Sunday, April 23, 2006

India Knight in today's Sunday Times on that haircare bill. Not that I need to tell you, but Cherie's in the news again. For something that really counts.

Broadly, India is pro large hair care charges for faux first ladies, on the basis that she can't do her own hair.

Here's what I think: it may be outrageous that Sandra Howard has her sidekick's sidekick blow-dry her hair in the back of the campaign van, but let's face it, she's got that straight, English hair. I think it's ludicrous to spend £275 a day on getting your hair done (we're not talking cuts or colours here, just a plain old style), but I can see Cherie wants to look good.

I know that answer. The problem is that Cherie has wavy/curly/slightly unruly hair, and she's trying to get it back in the box. She wants to look like everyone else; coiffed, groomed... done. Cherie needs to reach curl nirvana: she needs to learn to love her curls, and try and be her, not try and be other people.

So Cherie, my advice is simply this (spot the Shaders and Toners of Tony there?): go to a curly hair salon (I recommend Devachan or Ouidad in New York - shit, for what £7,000 you could get their top stylist to come to you). Get the hair cut that your hair needs - the one that's for you, not the one that makes you look like you think you ought to. Buy some decent curly hair products (I heartily recommend Devachan's Angell), leave your hair to dry. India may say the BBC is a curl-free zone (curly hair is "distracting", apparently - read scary/independent/non-conformist) but you need to stop looking like you've got a poker up your arse. We all know you like floaty clothes - real curls and waves are only a step away.

Get with the curl programme, girlfriend, and you'll stop looking like a cardboard cut-out of a PM's wife and start looking like you. And you'll get some respect from the masses who think £7,000 is (just about) a deposit on a first home, a car, a trip of a lifetime, some school fees... something that counts.

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