Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Did you know?

May contain nuts

In Hampstead yesterday, I saw a new "shop".

I use the phrase shop in the loosest possible terms. This... place, is a nut emporium. I didn't make a note of the name, but it's probably called the The Nut House or something.

Only in the chi-chi suburbs do such things happen. Stores that only do one thing. Like, I think I might open a Rocket Emporium.

Having said that, there's a travel agent on East End Road in East Finchley called "Barbados Only Barbados" which does seem kind of limiting. "Hello, I'd like to go to Mauritius on holiday." "Sorry, we only go to Barbados." One can't help thinking that they may be a front for something else.

Next door to Barbados Only Barbados there's a shop called Printer Cartridge World, or such like. You guessed it. You can't buy printers, or paper, or other peripherals. Just cartridges.

We live in a specialised world.


What's weird about the nut place is that I've been having a conversation for a little while with a friend about how it's quite hard for vegetarians to get selenium. And then, I walk in, and they're hard-selling brazil nuts. Because they are good for the Brain. I am so allergic to when people put random capital letters in sentences. There is no need for this. Although, there is a lot of synchronicity in my life: about three times a week something pops up that I was just talking/thinking about five minutes ago/yesterday. Perhaps I am a chaos magician. Or perhaps I just have good vibes.

Anyway, my scientific advisor tells me it's three brazil nuts, not one.

All the nuts are delicately wrapped and be-ribboned as if they are the crown jewels and you have purchased a top-of-the-line experience. Because, after all, we live in the experience economy.

The bloke working there was a bit put out that I toook a picture (although I did ask) and didn't buy any nuts.

But I already have brazil nuts that I bought on my last Tesco millet run. Although my eco-rebbe tells me Waitrose are much nicer to their business partners and growers and I may have to change my allegience. But when I went into Waitrose at Finchley Road last night, on the way out, there were queues and queues of well dressed investment bankers with one basket of expensive meals-for-one and I would have to wait for ages. High quality and immediacy don't always go hand in hand.

I know, I'm probably talking crap. I ought to get out more. I've gone a bit stir crazy what with having a cold, having a lot of work to do, having my head filled with leveraged finance, digital marketing and a looming print deadline.

Although, I have been going out. Rather internationally. Sunday night, I saw C just in from Madrid. Last night, J&A in from Israel and tomorrow, M in from Paris. Interestingly, J highly recommended a book called May Contain Nuts, which is not about the nut industry, but is about modernity.

You can't say I don't know a lot of people who are going on planes quite a lot. I mean, you could, but it wouldn't be true.

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