So, obviously I don't think this is how computers really work (at least, I hope I don't think this), but I appear to have, inadvertently got my laptop's wireless to work.

As with all the best solutions, I did nothing. If there's one thing I've learned over the last two and a half years (and I've learned a lot), it's that technical problems are not life-threatening, and calmness is just, well, calmer.

So I'm typing quietly, because in a tempting-fate way, I'm nervous of the Sony Vaio wireless gods hearing me and teaching me a lesson. But what I did, is this.

I turned off my laptop for two days, to "give it a rest". When I turned it on this morning, the wireless works. QED.

If you have any tech problems you need me to solve with my unique combination of limited knowledge, learned helplessness and superstition, let me know.

Apparently, Windows gets a big security update today. Where is it? My PC usually just kinda does it, but it hasn't. Do you think it's for XP?

sony vaio ad

sony vaio ad

Rather ironically, I saw this at Heathrow, on my way back from Israel.

Right now, I'm not crusing at all, Vaio-wise, but can't face having to call them.

working lunch

working lunch

Sometimes, especially in hot weather, I'm very happy that I work from home, mostly.

So when I hear that it's 32 degrees on the tube, coupled with the flexibility of the self-employed lifestyle, I feel pretty lucky. Of course, there are ups and downs, there are times when you have less and more work, and you have to be good at cashflow, but - mostly - it works for me.

Remember when you had a job and you had to wait in for the Gas Man or a delivery, and you took a day/afternoon off, and they didn't turn up, and then you'd have to do it again? You'd age about five years, and mostly not even get your boiler serviced?

Well, I'm mostly home, so it's lo-stress.

Yesterday, mini-heatwave, I had a light lunch on the terrace with my marketing strategy and competitor documents.

You may wonder why I'm up so late.

Partly, because my body-clock's all to pot, as I've been working Asian/pan-Pacific hours, for a project, just completed. And it's hot, so it's hard to sleep.

Also, just got back from a fabulous evening with M&S (who at some point I will call S&M, I'm sure) with T&L and B - in Manna in Primrose Hill. Frankly, as a kinda-vegetarian, there's nothing quite like being in a restaurant where you can eat everything, and it's all fabulous (and better than you can make yourself).

Celebratory evening, as M&S are getting married, and I was part of the small-group who set them up, and, frankly, it's a very lovely warm-cuddly feeling. Sometimes you think life's about the nice house and the car and the job and the clothes (or the carbon footprint and the yoga and the hemp shirts; whatever's your eco-bag), but actually, life is about people, and relationships and looking out for your friends and family, and there's nothing so fabulous as knowing you played the tiniest part in someone else's destiny.

Conversation ranged from quotative like, northern dialects, that bloke at the Royal Free who started the MMR scare, the kindertransport, the Blair-Cameron continuum. We were loud, and excited, and feeling truly celebratory. A wonderful, warm evening, to be treasured.

So while I'm still on the google front page for sony tx2 problem (and will probably remain so for as long as I keep self-referrentially linking myself in a pop-will-eat-itself way), I have another one.

Another problem, that is.

So there was a bit of a hoo-har between me and Adam, because on day 68 of my purchase transaction, it transpired my insurance documents (which I'd paid extra for), hadn't arrived. They managed to deliver them to the (previous) wrong address three times.

So I finally got them Friday, and then, guess what?

My wireless card started playing silly-buggers. Exact same problem, except that we already, as I'm sure you remember, retro-upgraded the wireless card so that, theoretically, the problem is fixed. Apparently. I can't face talking to first line technical support, feel a fool calling the third line tech guy. But my wireless is intermittent again, and I have a top of the range/limited edition laptop.

I am stuck. I am undone.

But not as much as I was by the fiasco of getting my insurance documents. A new character, Michelle, who I'd never heard of previously, emailed me to say that in recognition of additional hassle, they would send me something.

Our correspondence went something like this:


Dear Michelle,

Thank you for sending me the documents electronically.
I do not have an alternative address, so I am not able to supply one. And frankly, mailing documents to a verified postal address is not that difficuly. Given that I receive mounds of post daily, I suspect that there isn't a problem at my end.

You clearly were initially sending the documents to an incorrect address, replicating a problem that Sony had (twice) when I placed my order 71 days ago.

Sheesh.

Regards
Sasha

* * *

Dear Sasha,

Due to the "wrong address" issues that occurred on our side when trying to mail you the insurance documents, we have decided to compensate you by offering you a

80GB GigaVault!

As this item is rather valuable, I don't want to take any risk by sending it via a regular postal service and I therefore intend to have it shipped via DHL. Please kindly let me know if you agree with that proposal as it means that you will have to be present for collecting the parcel. An alternative, if you prefer, is to have it sent to your office, up to you to decide.

Kind Regards,
Michelle

* * *

Dear Michelle,

Thank you for your email.

While I appreciate that you are offering me an 80GB Gigavault, I'm not sure it would be very useful to me; I already have two external hard drives (incidentally, both with larger hard drives). Having looked around the Sony site as well as the web, the 80GB Gigavault doesn't appear to be on sale anywhere in the UK, and I can't help wondering if this product is still commercially available.

Yet again, you have done what suits "you" (Sony), not what suits "me" (the customer). Throughout this whole ridiculous fiasco, your corporate needs have appeared to come before my customer needs. From the top of the range TX2 that I purchased, and from my continuing correspondence with Sony, it ought to be fairly straightforward to realise that I'm an early-adopter type, and offering me seemingly obsolete or discontinued stock items is, frankly, just a little insulting.

You may also be interested to know that, despite receiving lots of post today, including a recorded delivery item, your insurance documents have still not arrived. Please confirm that the electronic documents you sent me are sufficient, should I need to claim, and that there is now no requirement for me to receive the paper documents.

For your information, can I also make it clear for the umpteenth time in my 72 day purchase cycle, that I have neither an alternative address or an office, as I am self-employed. Sony has known this since March 29th.

Regards
Sasha

No reply as yet. I think - I know - I have to stop. It doesn't really matter. But it would be nice if the goods worked.

Tomorrow night on Radio 4 - Bespoken Word. Sounds great, with many of my personal favourites, including Benjamin Zephaniah, John Cooper Clarke (not to be confused with John Cougar Mellencamp) and Attila the Stockbroker. Can't wait.

Question - can you see pollen? I have been mainlining Loratadine for the last few days, and I also see lots of floaty wispy things (forgive non-scientific language) near trees and nature. I wonder if they are related.

Race for Life, start, June 11th 2006

Race for Life, start, June 11th 2006

I did the Race for Life in Hampstead, yesterday, with my friends from Women's Group, in memory of Melissa. It was a hot, hot day, and actually, very emotional. Not only because we were remembering our friend, but because everyone was remembering someone. Every woman had a pink square on her back saying "I race for life for..." and the humaness of it all was quite overwhelming.

We've not totally counted up, but it looks like we've raised nearly £4,000 between us.

Can you believe we all missed National Be Nice to Nettles Week?

So roundabout now, four years ago, I was meeting Anna in a coffeeshop in Kings Cross to go to XCOM - Extreme Computing 2002.

It seems a lifetime ago. I remember getting to the Camden Centre, and seeing all the geeks, and thinking, this is my tribe. There were people from some tech projects I'd worked on, bloggers, people from the Industry Standard. It was. Well. Mindblowing, in a way.

Here's what I thought at the time.

How apt - I am on the Google front page for malcolm gladwell jewish girls. Hello, Malcolm.

duty free

duty free

I think this was in the airport in Budapest. Maybe it means something in Hungarian.

don't forget to not bring your gun

don't forget to not bring your gun

You know, I nearly packed my gun, and then I remembered the sign.

burnttoast

burnttoast

Don't get me wrong, I love Desperate Housewives, and I think Teri Hatcher is a good actress. Although Susan is ditzier than I'd like, but hey, she's a fictional character.

So last night, meeting a friend in Hampstead for coffee, waiting in the Waterstones (surely a name for an eighties band?) I flicked through Burnt Toast, and was, well, flabbergasted.

It's on the "you must buy this" shelf near the door. The blurb reads:

Toast, you know when you're trying to make it and you just can't get it right? It's too light or too soft, then totally burnt. Are you the kind of person who tries to scrape off the black? Or do you smother it with jam to hide the taste? Do you throw it away, or do you just eat it?

And I'm not kidding, it really does say that. Her entire life philosophy is based on the fact that she used to eat burnt toast because she didn't, like care for herself, but now she doesn't (eat it. but does care).

You just know that she went out for lunch with her agent, and when they were both a little too drunk to be intelligent anymore, she came up with this frankly half-baked idea, and because she's "a celebrity", someone's ghost-written it and it's a real book.

One I suspect I'm not buying.

LifeHack: losing your wallet efficiently

So, about every five years I lose my wallet. Not bad odds - last time I had it lifted by a charming old lady on the number 16 bus, in around 1999.

This time, somewhere between Tesco, my cousin's house and B's house, I lost it.

Time was, I'd be stressed, angry, create additional blood pressure angst; generally, be uncalm.

Since I life-hacked all my personal admin a few years ago, my life is just more organised. And about six months ago, I decided not to keep every single card I own in my wallet. So my wallet has my current account card, one credit card, and one charge card.

Another credit card (used largely for internet purchases) I leave by my desk, and I have a separate small wallet for my Tate and V&A memebership card, gym card, loyalty cards etc.

So, it's not so bad. When I realised this morning, I checked the three relevant accounts online, no activity. I even waited until I'd made my priority business calls, cancelled the three cards, and one of the replacements is even arriving by courier tomorrow. Whole thing, ten minutes (but then I do have "special friends" in two of the three places).

And I keep a small amount of cash at home, so I'm not cashless, and I've got my usually-internet-only credit card, as well as the cashline card for my business account (they are sending me a PIN super-speedy).

So, my advice:

don't leave all your cards in one place

leave one at home, for emergencies

have some cash at home

have a nice life

try not to lose your wallet

Great BBC resource on RSS - The Feed Factory.

I'm a little confused by Privacy Issue the kinda-blog by Frank Z White.

So it "blurs the lines between fiction and reality" and some of the people are real (I think) and some not. And the whole thing is written kinda like a film script, which makes it a meta-commentary on his own life.

There's a lot of... stuff, on the web.

Why use a short word when a long word will do? Honorificabilitudinity. Apparently a form of the longest word Shakespeare used.

It's Anne Frank Day next Monday, and there's also an exhibition of previously unseen photos at St Paul's cathedral, which closes Monday.

To be honest, it's been a bit of an intense few weeks. Three funerals, a handful of births, and a few arguments (small scale).

In the airport on the way to Israel, I saw my friend Melissa's new book, Amazon.co.uk: The Learning Curve, which I thoroughly enjoyed on my journey, and left with J in Israel.

But I felt very sad, reading the acknoledgements, because Melissa knew that she probably wouldn't see her book published, and there was a beatiful message to her family inside.

A few of us, from our Women's Group (we've been together for seventeen years) are walking in Melissa's memory on Sunday, for the Race for Life (there's a link on the right, if you want to support us, although there's no compulsion at all), and my Race for Life kit just came in the post.

There's a paper sponsorship form (kinda retro, we did nearly everything online), a glossy marketing piece (although why they need one, I don't really know), my number for the front of our shirts, and then a pink card for the back that says "I Race for Life for...". And when I unpacked it, and saw that, I just cried.

I remember when my grandpa died; I was four. To me, my grandpa was an old man, and I missed him. I shared a room with my grandma during the shiva (week of mourning) and she told me a lengthy bubbie meiser about how he had gone to heaven and was helping Gd and the angels, and if I looked carefully enough, I could see him. I walked around looking at the sky till I walked into a lampost and knocked myself out.

It was only when I was older that I realised what a tragedy it was; my dad was in his thirties and my grandpa was in his fifties and it was a terrible, terrible loss. But I was a kid, and I didn't really understand, and in some ways that's good, because life just carries on.

Now I'm older I understand as much as anyone can how things happen, but why? That never really makes sense, and I guess you can't drive yourself crazy trying to work it out. Some things just are.

And I think pain and sadness don't really help - sure, of course, there's a grieving period - when people are gone, certainly for me, I think a celebration of who they are or were is more... real.

Like at a shiva, people often talk about the deceased, and their memories and stories about them. And I guess all the things someone taught you, or shared with you, they stay with you forever.

Every single moment is really precious, I'm coming to realise. Maybe that's why I'm stuck taking photos of flowers. I love the beauty and imperfect-perfection of Gd's creation. We live in a wonderful beautiful world, and even as I write, I can hear the zone-two birdsong, and it reminds me. Of these things.

But I can't help feeling a little sad, too.

You know how it is; you go away for a few days, and all your technology gets tempermental. So my printer seems to have gone to SLEEP, and my mobile phone has lost its ringtone. I mean, none of it's life-threatening, it's just two more things to add to my ever-lengthening list.

While I was away, fairies came to my house and made sure there were no dead birds, and cleared up. Thank you:)

Chabad, at Ben Gurion

Chabad, at Ben Gurion

So they have a Lubavitch... stand, stall? at the airport. I don't 100% know why. I guess it's possible that someone could be about to get on the plane, just stocked up on duty frees, and then suddenly thinks to themselves, "hell (or some other word) I forgot that I wanted to be really religious, but not necessarily in the tradition of my family, I know, I'll check out Lubavitch."

I mean, I guess that can happen.

See the guy leaning against the bar, white shirt, beard? I think he's like the salesman. He looks for all the world like the caterer at your frum cousin's barmitzvah, touting for future work. I feel like if we got up close, he might have a chopped liver stain on his shirt.

My prejudice. YMMV. Some of my best friends are Chabad (no, really). Blah blah blah.

man, davenning

man, davenning

I feel like this man has a story. Not least because he is padding round Budapest airport in his socks, clutching his tallis (prayer shawl), fervently seeking a minyan. And I know he davenned already.

I feel like he's ba'al teshuvah (born again, ish). I don't know why.

Somehow, the plane feels safer knowing that there are a substantial number of men dressed as eighteenth century Polish noblemen. Don't ask me why.

early shacharis - Ben Gurion, 5.30am

early shacharis - Ben Gurion, 5.30am

It feels like something... totally ancient is happening when I hear people (men, let's face it) spontaneously daven. I knew I couldn't join in, but I sat near them, and hearing the mumbly niggunim (tunes) of my childhood felt in some way faintly comforting. I don't know these men, but they look like (Ashkenazi) men the world over, and sound and shokkel like them, too.

Although, as it happens, I didn't wait too long.

As I was leaving, J was IMing with S (which I realise makes us all sound about fifteen) who I haven't seen for 20 years, and he lives right near the airport, so he came and had coffee with me at like 3am. It was lovely to catch up, talk webdevelopery stuff so early in the morning, and reconnect. I am sounding rather American. But then it's 8am (London time) and I'm in Budapest and, frankly, a little tired.

waterfountain

waterfountain

So, it's, em, a well-known-fact that Jews in general (if such generalisations are possible) have something of a weak bladder. Or at least, have a lot of comedy routines about spending too much time in the bathroom.

So why the departures concourse of the airport has a huge great floor-to-ceiling water fountain, I will never know. I crossed my legs through my whole wait.

jerusalem stone

jerusalem stone

So I didn't make it to Jerusalem - flying visit, and all that - but luckily there's plenty of stone in the shiny-new (or not so new, I've not visited for a while) airport. Almost spiritually uplifting, the scale et al when you arrive.

caesarea, dark sky

caesarea, dark sky

The sky over Caesarea, in the taxi on the way to Auntie F's funeral.

So, a restorative jaunt to the Holy Land, and a wonderful shavuot (cheesecake festival, will link my previous story when I get a chance) and shabbat with J, G and family. Sorry I didn't get to see or even talk to J or A, but on a flying visit, there just isn't time to do everything, sadly.

It's hot here, damn hot, in the words of the movie. The kind of steamy, still hotness that we never get in the UK.

I'm travelling back overnight, so don't expect me to be fabulous company tomorrow, but you never know; if I sleep on the plane, maybe I'll be raring to go when I land. Maybe I'll surprise you.

So I'm in a wireless hinterland (Yokneam, Israel) but at least they have broadband. I have travelled for twelve hours, and slept for five, so feel moderately refreshed.

Highlights of the trip (so far);

seeing all J's children who look almost exactly like she did at school

getting a photo of a chassid davening in Budapest

surfing free wireless at Budapest airport; checking my mail and paying a supplier online with digital banking, while sitting on the floor waiting for the plane to board

Ben Gurion airport is amazing - last time I was here, it was kinda like a makeshift third-world hut, a cross between a taxi station and the shuk. Now it's all round and cool Jerusalem stone (and, sadly, multiple Nokia logos. Apparently they connect people).

I've never been on a train in Israel; it may have been the crack of dawn, but I got a wonderful view going up the coast.

So, something to eat, get dressed, and I'm (sadly) off to a funeral, to say goodbye to a very old (longstanding) friend. Baruch dayan ha'emet.

many Baileysim, small prices

many Baileysim, small prices

... not least because the Duty Free is replete with all kinds of Baileys of various sizes.

Separate note: if anyone who IMs with me remembers my AIM login name - I'm sure I know the password - could you email me? Thanks.

terrible hungarian advert

terrible hungarian advert

So, long story but I've just seen this (probably translated from Hungarian) advert - not only is it not idiomatic, which we forgive, because we get the sense, but the model's had to put on this fervently surprised face. A face that says "prices so small, I am amazed at the dealiness".

This is a country I could set up an ad agency in.

Oh, and I called a couple of glass people's night numbers, and guess what? Their phones are switched off.

broken window

broken window

So I was just lying in bed, listening to the bird song, about 6am, slightly sleepless, when I heard this huge crash. I thought the chances of another explosion were slim, but I got the shock of my life. I gingerly crept round my house, wondering what it was, till I saw this huge hole in the spare room window, and glass all over the floor.

First thought was a brick, but then obviously random vandals/people who throw bricks through your window are unlikely to get up at 6am. Also, it's quite hard to get to the back of my house. You'd just have to be really keen, as well as an insomniac.

Slight panic, spontaneous crying, took photos for the insurance/because I can.

Looked around my spare room - there are no bricks/heavy objects, but there are a few feathers. Went downstairs, to the bottom of the window, no sign of anything.

So I feel: slightly shocked/scared/perturbed. Is there a dead/injured bird lurking in my spare room (I can't see one, but they are small). And also, a bird flew into my house once before, and how often does lightning/bird shit strike?

Too many slashes: word choice this time of the morning is tricky.

my silk painting poppy

my silk painting poppy

So for A&M's wedding they're asking friends to decorate squares artistically (or not...) and then M is making them into a chuppah (wedding canopy) because she's good at those things. So here's my silk-painted poppy interpretation; spent the afternoon round M's dining room table doing the kind of thing I love doing, but never find time for, with G giving me a wonderful shoulder massage. Life is good.

poppies

poppies

Yesterday I was driving through Hendon - as you do - and I just stopped by this old gothic house on Parsons Street that when I lived in zone three, years ago, always felt like it was haunted. Outside, were these beautiful poppies, and because I have my shiny-new camera always in my handbag now, I can just show you what I saw.

This weekend? A curate's egg. Not much sleep, wonderful friends, lots of creativity, a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, the Da Vinic Code on the big screen (good in parts, but not that many), some packing, some late spring cleaning. What can I say? There are just some things you don't write on your weblog.

peonies

peonies

Peonies are the most beautiful flowers. Even though it's raining outside when I look at this, I just feel happy.

cornflower blue

cornflower blue

I'm still taking photos of flowers with my shiny-new camera. Cornflowers, by Kilburn tube.

Saw Have I Got News for You being recorded last night - excellent. Carol Vordemann in the chair (they ripped the p*** out of her about her loan ads, priceless), Dr Phil Hammond (not that famous, but very funny) and Richard E Grant (famous but weird. And says he's 57 when he appears to be 49).

Followed by an evening walk on the South Bank and pasta - London's traditional dish. I do live in a great city.

silly ads

silly ads

Anyone who genuinely wants to revise their Excel spreadsheet from the 9th hole needs to get out more/work on their work/life balance.

I don't know who Laura Brady on the Guardian is, but she wrote a ridiculous piece in yesterday's paper about flat freeholds which was riddled with inaccuracies.

First, the freeholder is not "otherwise known as a landlord or managing agent". The freeholder is the landlord, and they appoint a managing agent, who the tenants pay for.

Second, they are not "likely to charge ground rent as you do not own the plot that the property stands on" - they will charge ground rent, because it will be in your lease.

Third, "An ideal lease will extend to 99 years, although 125 and even 999-year leases are also available" - not true. An ideal lease is as long as possible, and ideally longer than the marriage value of the lease, otherwise it'll cost you a fortune to enfranchise.

Fourth, "Under normal circumstances, a freeholder is legally obliged to extend it [the lease] for a further 90 years at a "reasonable" cost to the leaseholder. However, this cost is based on the value of the property and can run into thousands of pounds." Well, kinda true, but no mention of the massive Leashold Reform Act which means landlords automatically have to enfranchise tenants if they meet minimum criteria. There's a formula and a process, so it could cost thousands, but it might cost hundreds.

Fifth, "When buying a flat, your solicitor will investigate the adequacy of the existing lease term. "You should be looking for at least double the term of your mortgage," says Nicholls. "Anything below this and you may find it hard to find a lender." Not as I understand it - I don't think lenders will want to lend on anything less than about 65 or 70 years. And no mention of the impact of a short lease on resale value.

Sixth, "share of the freehold...these properties are usually in small apartment blocks or converted houses, with a maximum of five separate flats in the building." I could be wrong, but I think I've seen share of freehold properties in mansion blocks. I don't think there's any maximum.

Seventh, "as freeholds are expensive to buy and are traded among investors, a share of it can boost the value of the property." This is patent rubbish. Since the reforms in the leasehold legislation, the bottom has totally fallen out of the freehold market, they are no longer traded, as far as I can tell, and because landlords are effectively forced to sell to tennants who want them, there's no real market value.

Eighth, "on the other side of the coin, decisions regarding the communal areas, structure of the building and even insurance are all made collectively. If personal disagreements emerge with the small group of other freeholders, the situations can become difficult." Well, all potentially true, but no mention of enfranchised tenants appointing their own, cheaper managing agent.

Ninth - and this is getting silly now - "If you buy a flat in such a small block as a leaseholder, you may be able to join forces with the other flat owners to buy the freehold from your landlord in a process called enfranchisement." It's not just about small blocks, and why only one mention of a key reform?

Tenth, in relation to commonhold, "on the downside, everyone in the building is collectively responsible for the cost and upkeep of all communal areas - even for eventualities such as replacing the roof, he adds. "They are also responsible for the insurance of the building and well as their own contents insurance." That's not a downside, it's reality. If you're in a leasehold flat, you have to pay what the Landlord's managing agent says you should pay, unless you want to fight; if you're in share-of-freehold (ie enfranchised) you have to pay, and if it's commonhold, you have to pay. Whatever your circumstances, someone, and it's generally the people who live there, has to pay for buildings insurance and general maintenance.

Now, this is not a totally researched comment, it just comes out of my head, so I can't vouch for total accuracy, but I'm da*n sure I know quite a bit more than Laura Brady.

How? I hear you ask. A combination of common sense and bitter experience. But that's another story...

So my boyfriend carries a pager because he does something terribly important for his employer that requires constant access (although why they can't text, I don't know). Once, his pager went off in the middle of the night and I thought it was the three minute warning. But then, I am Jewish.

But today he got this pager message that he just showed me:

"Andrew is keen to have word. Around now. But in meetings 4-6. Pat"

You can't help wondering about Andrew and Pat; they still page, which is quite 1985. But they page innacurately; D has no idea who they are. And also, their grammar and syntax is a. Little. Suspect. Too many full stops, for a start.

In fact, we've had quite a laugh at A+P's expense, and what would be most rewarding would be if the message turned into some kind of meme. Just turned up all over the internet for no reason.

And at least that way, the right person might get the message.

So I've just discovered secretsnapper on Flickr, and I feel, well, dirty.

Dirty? His profile says "I take secret snaps on the London underground (ie Tube). Nothing sinister here, just photo's of people in public spaces." Nothing sinister? (Sorry, I realise I am asking rhetorical questions a lot today).

It's just that, say I scrolled through his photos and found one of me. Or my Mum. Or a friend. There's something pruriently voyeuristic about putting vaguely-sexual photos of people you don't know, online. Apart from the privacy issues. And he may feel they're not sinister, but I feel like what if some nutter's taking my photo on the train (or, more likely, my legs/ankles/behind). To use the most retro of language: he's objectifying women like page three of a newspaper. Which I don't have that much of a problem with, except these women don't have control over their image, and that I do have a problem with.

He says there's nothing sinister, but lots of the comments are, well, let's just say of a certain style. You can be sure that some (people) men are going there just to look at photos so they can. Mmm. You know. There's one photo of a girl sitting on a park bench with 2,000 hits. We all know that some men are probably doing that thing that some men do when they seek attractive photos online.

I don't want to get all frea speech (or frea image) about this, but I wonder if Flickr have a view. I know you can't have a minimum ethical standard on the internet, but I'm just, well. Wondering. Unsure.

Remember how everyone used ODEON as a great example of how not to do a website? Lots of flash, totally inacessible, and averse to the odd bit of screen-scraping, when in desparation geeks tried to get at the data?

Well, looks like they've done a relaunch.

Look, I'm number one for Vaio TX2 wireless problem in what I think is Latvia (anyone know what the .lv suffix means?)

Question?

So I'm writing a (print) piece, and I've talked about a "siloed approach to race crime" and my editor says siloed isn't a real word, and I said the internet uses it 194,000 times, so it must be. And she says she must be cited on the internet 194,000 times, and it's miniscule, but it turns out it's only 204, and one of those is her internet-doppleganger who lives in Illinois and likes knitting.

The upshot is I have to find a new word for siloed - any suggestions?

crown ducal dripware

crown ducal dripware

I have often mentioned that I collect crown ducal dripware, but you may not know what that is.

So - courtesy of Sony and my new camera - here's a photo of about a third of my collection. It's beautiful, isn't it? Although apparently the orange glaze is ever so slightly radioactive.

People often come into my house and remark on their beauty, thinking it's my hobby, in that I make them. I'm just not that talented

Technical question - does anyone know the answer to this?

So my (wireless)mouse battery doesn't need replacing (ie it's not flickering), but I keep missing letters when I type, just randmly. Like tht. And it's a pain because I have to keep going back to fix it. Ad it's different letters. As you can see.

All advice gratefully received.

healthy lunch

healthy lunch

Extremely healthy lunch I had at my desk yesterday (you can see my keyboard and wrist rest, so it must be my desk). Personally, I'm a great one for sweet/savoury flavours, and fruit with main courses. Edge liver, me.

Can you imagine this? You speak English as second language, and you go for a job interview as in IT assistant, and end up on BBC News24 discussing the implications of the legal battle between Apple Computer and Apple Corps. You really couldn't make it up.

Caitlin Moran in yesterday's Times about what to call her... well, you'll find out. (The last thing I want is people traipsing through here looking for something I don't have on offer.)

And people complain about the post. This letter is delivered 56 years late. And that's not a typo. I hope she didn't think she'd been stood up.

sandwaves

sandwaves

In just under 72 hours we:

visited Swaffham.

had a coffee in the Hoste Inn in Burnham Market (National Trust colours abound here, sign of expensive property, generally).

had fish and chips on the front at Hunstanton, while listening to the brass band, (and just before we went to the arcade).

had a great walk along the beach at Wells.

Visited the Desert Rats Memorial.

speeded past Sandringham.

visited Norfolk Lavender (and bought some Lavande Liqueur, because I like girly drinks, but D says it will taste like old ladies wee).

discovered that postmen in East Anglia use the same red rubber bands as in London, I got another three for my collection.

read books, papers, talked, slept, walked, relaxed (and largely avoided the football).

candy coloured beach huts

candy coloured beach huts

It's hard to believe that yesterday morning we were strolling along the beach, having just had a lazy breakfast, and on our way to see Norfolk Lavender (which is more of an olfactory experience, clearly).

on the beach at wells

on the beach at wells

When I was at school, my then-best-friend John wanted to be a photographer, and he was very into decay. We used to go round Manchester, spotting decay.

I love how you can almost see the people in the background.

through a looking glass

through a looking glass

Don't you love how old glass does strange things?

Buttlands, where the Globe is, is a georgian square with beautiful architecture, lots of wisteria, and when you're asleep, there's no police sirens, doors slamming, lorries rumbling. Silence.

malibu, no baileys

malibu, no baileys

Got back last night from a fabulous, restorative weekend in North Norfolk. Like, I have six live projects, and I'm just focussed, relaxed, getting thhrough it.

This is reflected in the bar window of the Globe at Wells-Next-The-Sea, which I can't recommend highly enough.

more linkage:

• How much is a 2p worth? Actually, 3p .. Money, money, money (Abba tune, obviously): are the stick markets about to go bust? Do I regret buying that Picasso, now? Should I get out of gold and into bonds? These are the pressing questions of the day.
• Art News Blog: Dora Maar Sells for $95.2 Million .. Shame I didn't have a spare $95.2m for Picasso's Dora Maar au chat. Oh well, maybe next time.
• Compound Interest Calculator .. Cute little online calculator from the Motley Fool that works out compound interest for you. As they great man (Albert Einstein) said, the most powerful force in the universe is compound interest.
• Interactive London Underground Map .. from Diamond Geezer - great web2.0 google-map doodar. Only problem, it doesn't know from British Rail trains.
• Free UK PAYE Tax calculator 2006. Great PAYE tax calculator (you can tell I'm thinking about my tax return early, this year).

hair colour

hair colour

Watching Question Time, it's getting heated about Iraq and 7/7, but I'm mesmerised by Hazel Blears' hair.

We know the truth. No-one's hair is that colour for real. I suspect it's L'oreal Recital Preference in 6.5 Connemara.

speaccial offer big bargain

speaccial offer big bargain

Downtown Harlesden, sunny Thursday afternoon (aka today - had to go to the bank.) Luckily, I have shoes, so don't need a speacial offer. Not that that ever stopped me before.

I have this friend, well, she's slightly less of a friend, more of an acquaintance. Maybe not even that; what do you call someone where you know their email address, and their mobile number, but you don't know where they live, or their landline, and you run into them at parties or other people's things? Acquaintance-lite? Kinda-friend?

Anyway, she's a nice woman, from what I know of her. Which is not that much. But she's interesting and sociable and that's always nice.

But everyone must know someone like this. Once I got into her email address book, I'm getting like four emails a week from her. I think I last saw her in person in November - briefly.

See, there are some people who can't read modernity. Or maybe, just see it differently. So what I see as a mail I would send to a real friend, she sees as a "send to whole address book" (STWAB). But the problem with the STWAB methodology is that I feel like the internet* version of someone working the room on me.

She - theoretically - does all the right things for acquaintance-ship or people who like networking. She sends me the odd email (ok, more than the odd one). She's friendly when I see her. I have a rough idea of what's going on in her life.

But it feels like TMI (as they say nowadays). I don't know if want to know that her brother just got back from traveling in Guatemala for a year, and she's having tea at her parents' in Richmond to welcome them back. Because I don't know her brother. Or Richmond. Or go south of the river.

See, she's not doing anything wrong. It just feels a little, well, odd. I don't think it's aspergic; I don't think it's like when you're trapped in a conversation with someone at a party and you know they want to leave it, but they can't leave and you're both stuck there for eternity discussing house insurance or something. With her, it's slightly more nuanced. She sends me things I could, if I was interested, be interested in. Or, if I had less friends, or less to do, I might thing, hey, why don't I go to Jane's party for her brother (about whom I know more than I do about her, thanks to her pen portrait). Maybe she doesn't have any social boundaries, or she doesn't have any like mine.

I think it's something about living in the post-Big Brother world. Or the search marketing world. Or modernity. If you acknowledge that there's no more privacy, and everyone basically wants to be a celebrity, then the combination of these two things means that everyone's potentially just a little bit more open and out there.

It's just that to people like me - who are closed and home, I guess I'm saying - it feels like when you go on a first date with someone and they tell you their whole life history. Except nowadays you already googled them and they are merely confirming what you know but won't admit to. So, I think there's something basically wrong - so retro, I know. let's say inappropriate - about losing the layers of relationships, discovery, the nuanced nature of communication. Maybe modernity is insufficiently nuanced?

Rant over. It's just that I got another email, saying she's in the Observer at the weekend. Nice, huh?

* completely separate conversation, but internet no longer has a capital I. It's not the Internet (new and exciting). It's the internet. Like shopping or reading or work; just something you do.

rubber band ball

rubber band ball

You know how postmen all over London seem to drop exclusively red rubber bands in our collective path?

Well, I'm making a rubber band ball, which is remarkably therapeutic, and could be come the un-executive toy of choice.

Sorry it's such a crap picture. And it's grown since I took this.

Forget consumer power - this is google power - I'm already on the front page for sony vaio tx2 problem.

pretty in pink

pretty in pink

I. Just. Can't. Stop. Taking. Pictures. Of. Flowers. Help.

linkage:

• Throw open the books so that we can see what everyone earns .. In Norway and Finland, anyone can summon up anyone else's tax return on the internet - and other fascinating facts from Polly Tonybee on equal pay.
• Glaceau Smartwater .. Apparently, Glaceau Smartwater actually makes you more intelligent. Snake oil, anyone?
• slowlondon .. because sometimes life's too fast, and we don't stop and smell the roses/enjoy ourselves. Or whatever.
• Ten Steps to Financial Freedom .. Sound financial advice from the Motley Fool.
  
• Miron Grindea: The Don Quixote of Kensington .. A great review in the weekend Independent of the founder of ADAM literary magazine. I saw an (old) movie of him at the booklaunch, and I feel my life is poorer for not knowing him before he died.
  
• Friendster lost steam. Is MySpace just a fad? .. Fascinating essay on social technologies.

Am ah bovvered?

Am ah bovvered?

Did I mention that I went to the WeMedia conference last week? I was - I hate to say it - a Digital Assassin. Sounds kinda silly; we were brought on to overproduced music and sat one per table so that the media folk could talk to the kids. Except Salaam Pax was on my table, and they were all pretty media-savvy. It was fun, though.

This poster is in the BBC halls, to encourage people to talk about the new media challenges blah blah blah, but the typography (up close, there's like a one mil space between the Vs, rather than the three mils everywhere else) really does make it look like Am I Bowered?

Could be a whole new catchphrase.

It's such a relief to know that 63 year old Patricia Rashbrook "has a biological age of 45" and that she is slim, blonde and in perfect condition.

It's the blonde that does it.

It's only fair that I give you the Sony Vaio outcome...

So it turns out that the guy who sales thought was the technical guy is acutally the most senior customer service guy (WTF) and Tuesday he called me, and arranged collection of the not-working TX2. We talked about Sony giving me a small "gift" to apologise to me.

I was ready. "Oh, I said, that's an idea. How about a
Sony Cyber-shot DSC-N1, with a leather case and 1GB card, with a Sony 5GB Micro Vault Pro"; this is a collection of stuff retailing at just under £500. So that's £425 ex-VAT, and less say a 20% margin, a cost to Sony of maybe a little over £300.

Matt responded that the camera was fine, and after I explained there was little point in giving me gift if I then had to spend +/- £100 to use it, he thought it was "fair" and "reasonable." But the Microvault, he can't use stock consumption internally, so it wouldn't be possible. It's how their rules work. And anyway, the camera and accessories were "reasonable." I responded that I would, of course, be reasonably happy with the camera: what would make me really happy would be the Microvault. Could he go the extra mile, for £90+VAT? No, it turns out.

So, my camera arrived today, and I'm reasonably happy, which is better than I felt when I had two Sony laptops and neither of them worked. But I think I might just buy myself a Microvault.

Waddya think?

So I am top on google for weird jews with funny hats eating cheese cake - timely, given it's Shavuout (the cheesecake eating festival) in about a month.

place mat

place mat

So I met up with A last night and we went to Hummus Bros on Wardour Street and spent about four hours eating humous (they spell it wrong, I tell you), drinking sage tea (new: fab) and having a right old girlie chat.

Humous feedback:

• Nice place; cross between Pret a Manger, Wagamama, and Tel Aviv bus station
  
• Branding story is very Pret: two hapless blokes just love hummus and had to bring it to the people
  
• Humous OK, but could do with toasted pine nuts (they say they are, but they could be more) and za'atar
  
• And they serve the garlic and lemon on the side, but we never got ours, so it's a little bland. But they say lots of office staff don't want garlic at lunchtime
  
• Great aubergine with tahina
  
• Extremely atttractive Israeli-style wait staff
  
• All in all, if I worked at Picadilly Circus I'd be there like twice a week. Minimum. I mean, it was like coming home.

textiles

textiles

This was on my old phone (just upgraded) and it was a pain to get them off, so I can't remember where it was. An interiors shop, I imagine.

Pretty sure it's a William Morris print, though.

create

create

As the Kilburn-local graffiti says: create. I have just had a lovely time printing out a rather rewarding project. There's nothing like seeing the finished result, frankly.

I mentioned some fun and games I had with my Sony Vaio-ot, and for your delight and delectation I reproduce here my, er, feedback letter.

Adam Dorrell
Director
Sony Style
Belgium
Brussels

25th April 2006



Dear Adam,
Sony Vaio Service – TX2 and TR1MP
Thanks for your time on the phone last Tuesday. As promised, I am writing to clarify the situation.


1 Lifetime Vaio customer
I am a lifetime Vaio customer – I had two 505Xs, currently own a TR1MP, and have just bought a TX2 because the Sony TR1MP has “died”. I purchased a 505X in 1998, when that failed, your technical support advised me the only way to have business critical reliability was to purchase an additional machine, which I did in 1999.

If I plan to work for another thirty years, and update my laptop every two years at an approximate cost of £1,600, then the future lifetime value of my custom is £24,000. That’s before we even consider the other Sony products I buy.


2 TR1MP third failure
In December 2003 I purchased a TR1MP, which has now returned to Brussels on its third trip. When it last failed in October 2005, I paid £120 for a rental machine while it was repaired, but when it failed on 27th March, I felt purchasing a new machine made more financial sense.


3 Current TX2 situation
Your Wincor Nixdorf engineer came this morning and installed the 2100 wireless card your third line technical support installed.
The machine is now failing to start up – it’s booting and showing the Vaio BIOS screen, but then fails to start. It has started once out of six attempted startups. This happened immediately your engineer started it, but once he got it working he said it was OK.

As a matter of urgency, could you have an engineer attend tomorrow between 1630 and 1900 to fix this hardware problem?


4 TR1MP failure and return to base
I opened case reference 1982930 on 28th March with Chris (call 1), and you collected my machine on 30th March.
I have made four further calls:
• to Olivia (call 2) 29/3 at 1145, advising her of screen flickering problem to be checked
• to John (call 3) 7/4 0930, who advised me you are waiting for a powerboard and hardrive, and advised me the parts should be due in a week
• I called Veronica (call 4) on 11/4 at 1030, she advised me you were waiting for hardrive, powerboard, thermal sheets and stopper, and another part for the powerboard. I asked her to email me when the machine would be ready – she said it takes a day to email the repair centre and a day to hear back from them and another day for her to email me. I heard nothing.
• I called again (call 5) on18/4 at 1235 and spoke to Andrew. He told me you are waiting for a combo drive, and can not give me any idea of when the part will be available or when the machine will be back. I asked him to email me also.

I had no emails, but the machine was returned to me on Monday 24th April. Thank the service gods of Brussels. It is nearly a month since it originally failed on March 27th.

5 TX2 purchase
As I mentioned to you, I was not prepared to hire another machine, even though there is nine months to run on my TR1MP back to base warranty. In October, my case was escalated by Matt Trigwell, so it was only away for a week, but without this assistance, your call centre estimated up to three weeks, which would cost me approximately £300.

I elected to purchase a new machine, nine months earlier than my business plan had budgeted for. My criteria were weight and design (I am a marketing consultant, often working onsite). I was extremely wary of purchasing another Vaio, and had specced a Toshiba Portege. At the very last minute, on the advice of a technology journalist friend who felt I’d been “unlucky” with my TR1MP, I ordered the TX2XP/L on the business bundle with the case and – crucially – the next day onsite warranty.

I did the initial research on 28th and 29th March, but when I called to order the machine, you were moving warehouses, and Amie, your salesperson, could not guarantee any delivery date at all. Extremely frustrated, I made some calls, and on 29th March spoke to Joe and Chris, explaining that I was extremely keen to spend £1600 with you. As a result of the time I spent finding someone to sell me a machine, Amie called me back, I placed the order on March 29th, for delivery no later than 7th April. (Total calls: 4)

Amie emailed me on Tuesday 4th April, confirming delivery the next day. When I checked the UPS link at 1145, it said you had tried to deliver the machine but no-one was available – I had been home all morning, waiting. I called Amie, and she said she would call me back. I checked your delivery email, and you had the address as flat X, High Road. I called Amie again, and she said she had Flat X, YY High Road on her system. After a number of begging calls, I was left with no choice but to go to the UPS office in Kentish Town in the evening of 4th April. (Total calls: 5)

In order to spend money with you, I had to make over ten phone calls.

6 TX2 wireless problem
When I took the machine out of the box, the wireless was intermittent.

CALL ONE: On Thursday 6th April I called your technical support line and spoke to Kieran at 9.50 (call reference 1993865) (this was a 20 minute call). Kieran instructed me to change the UP settings to a fixed IP address. This temporarily fixed the problem, although as soon as I hung up, the wireless no longer worked at all. I asked Kieran to send an engineer, as I had paid for next day onsite warranty, and he told me it was a software problem.

CALL TWO: I called again at 2.15 and spoke to Darren. He told me it was a software problem, and he would send me an email with a link to reconnect the wireless dropping. I asked him to send an engineer, and he advised me it was a software problem and therefore, despite my warranty, they would not send an engineer.

CALL THREE: When I did not receive an email, I called again at 2.40, and spoke to Kieran again. As the problem is intermittent, he could ping the router, and told me it worked and that was all he could do.

CALL FOUR: On Friday 7th April, I called Nina in sales at 2.45, explained my predicament, and asked her to help me. She said that Matt Trigwell, their technical person would call me back immediately.

CALL FIVE: I called again at 3.05 and she sent a message that I will hear back from him immediately.

I never heard from Matthew Trigwell.

Over the weekend, my boyfriend spent some time researching the problem, and it transpires that there is a known problem with IntelPro wireless 2200, as demonstrated on the Intel website: http://support.intel.com/support/wireless/wlan/sb/cs-006205.htm

Here is the problem discussed at length in a discussion forum:
http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,12904785~days=9999

Your first line technical appeared unaware of this.

I am extremely surprised that a respected company such as Sony is marketing a machine containing a component with a known and documented problem.

CONTACT SIX: On Monday 10th April, I emailed Amie asking if she could chase this for me, and also confirm when my leather case would arrive. I never received a response to this email.

CALL SEVEN: On Tuesday 11th April, I called Nina again and spoke to her at 9.38. I asked for an engineer to come between 4 and 6pm on Wednesday. She stated that I would receive a phone call from technical support in 30 minutes.

CALL EIGHT: At 10.15 Stephan Olbertz from third line technical support called me. He was most helpful, and agreed there is a known issue with the IntelPro card. After a lengthy discussion, we agreed that the only practical solution was to change the 2200 card for the 2100 (which already works in my TR1MP), as the form factor of the machine means that we couldn’t install a newer card. While Stefan was most helpful, when I asked for his telephone number, he refused to give it, and would only communicate with me via email or via calls he initiated.

CALL NINE/TEN/ELEVEN: Wincor Nixdorf, I received a message from Shegar in technical support. I called him back twice, and eventually he told me was ordering the new wireless card, as well as a system board. He couldn’t make appointments, I have to speak to someone else.

CALL TWELVE: 3.30 called Nina, left message with Chris.

CALL THIRTEEN: 3.55 I spoke to Nina, explained that I was pursuing two problem solving routes (Wincor Nixdorf/engineer, and Sony third line support) and asked:
When my leather case would arrive
For your email address
In terms of goodwill I requested the following:
• A continental European power supply
• A US power supply
• Some kind of USB/memory stick.

CALL FOURTEEN: 4.20 from Zena at Wincor Nixdorf. Because they can’t no the next business day, I am entitled to a new laptop. I explained that this is only useful if the new laptop has the 2100 wireless card in it.

CALL FIFTEEN: 4.38 I called Nina, she is chasing her technical people.

CALL SIXTEEN: 4.54 from Zena, she is waiting to hear from Sony re a new PC. At the same time she confirmed that an engineer should be with me at 3pm tomorrow.

CALL SEVENTEEN: Wednesday 12th April, 11.55, Stephan called me, he can ship the part, it will arrive tomorrow. He suggested he could talk me through replacing it, although I expressed nervousness at taking apart such a small machine with no engineering experience.

CALL EIGHTEEN: 3.30pm, I call Zena, as the engineer had not arrived. She told me that parts had not arrived from Sony. She said she would call back in 20 minutes.

CALL NINETEEN: 4.05, I called Zena again, she is logged off. I spoke to David, who cut me off.

CALLS TWENTY/TWENTY ONE: 4.10, I called again, tried to find the David. Eventually I spoke to Iftikhar who told me that UPS had lost the parts and they are unable to do the call today.

CALL TWENTY TWO: 4.10 I called Nina and asked you to call me to get a resolution to this. I was keen to resolve this, as Passover was starting that evening.

CALL TWENTY THREE: 4.30 Zena called, confirmed parts had been lost, and that I should have heard directly from Sony about this.

CALL TWENTY FOUR: 4.45 Nina called me, and told me that you would call on Tuesday, and that in the meantime you were couriering me a wireless PCMCIA card.

CALL TWENTY FIVE: 5pm, Zena called me. I explained that I was out of the office on Thursday 13th, and as it was then Easter bank holiday, we agreed an engineer would attend at 9am on Tuesday 18th April.

CALL TWENTY SIX: 5.15pm, Brooklands courier called me – they couldn’t find the address flat XX, High Road. You had recreated the original delivery problem.

CONTACT TWENTY SEVEN: 7pm, your wireless card arrived (about ten minutes before the start of Passover.)

CALL TWENTY EIGHT: Tuesday 18th, 9.54, I called Zena when the engineer didn’t arrive. She told me that Sony took the call away from them on Thursday, and Sony should have called me. I asked her to ask Sony to call me immediately and tell me what was going on.

CALL TWENTY NINE: 10am, I left a message with Chris for Nina.

CALL THIRTY: 10.30 I called Nina again.

CALL THIRTY ONE: 3.45 you called me, and we agreed that:
• An engineer would attend on Monday 24th April (on my return to London) at 9am
• You would chase up the return of the TR1MP
• We would discuss some kind of goodwill gesture/compensation once the matters were resolved (this was your suggestion, I did not request compensation).

CALLS THIRTY TWO – FOUR: I was out of the office on 19th and 20th. When I collected my messages on Friday 21st, Stephan had left me a number of messages. However, he had not wanted to give me his phone number, so I could not call him. I had intermittent access to email.

CONTACT THIRTY FIVE: Friday 21st, 2.45, I sent you an email enquiring why I hadn’t heard anything from the engineer or about my TR1MP.

CALL THIRTY SIX: I called you at 5.30pm, chasing this. You were out of the office, but you told me Kirk had been dealing with this, and I should have heard from someone. I explained that I had to go to a funeral on Monday, and asked for an engineer on Tuesday at 9am.

CALL THIRTY SEVEN: Monday 24th - you called me before 9am and confirmed the engineer would attend Tuesday.

CONTACT THIRTY EIGHT: 9.30am Zena from Wincor Nixdorf call to confirm engineer attending on Tuesday at 9am.

CONTACT THIRTY NINE: Tuesday 25th - engineer attended, changed card. Now the machine doesn’t work.


7 Summary
I have:
• Made five calls to your 0870 service centre to locate my TR1MP, at a cost of around £7.50
• Made ten phone calls to purchase a new TX2
• Made nearly forty calls to get a TX2 that works
• Made a total of nearly fifty five calls or contacts
• Waited in five times (to collect my TR1MP, to have the TX2 delivered (failed), twice for an engineer (one failed) and once for a courier (wrong address)
• Collected my new machine at your UPS depot due to your failure to record my address accurately
• Spent two to three weeks with over £3,000 of Sony Vaio products that didn’t work
• Spent approximately three days of my time chasing this up
• Luckily, have my own in-house technical support to research the problem, otherwise it may well have remained undiagnosed

You have:
• Managed to deliver something twice to the wrong address
• Consistently not returned calls
• Frustrated me beyond all possible imagined levels of frustration
• Not delivered service worthy of your premium pricing or my additional payment for next day onsite


8 Current situation
It looks like my TR1MP works (my boyfriend has spent 4 hours updating Windows and installing Office). My TX2 doesn’t work. I have not received the goodwill items (power supplies and USB key) that I have mentioned to Nina on 11th April and you on 18th April (which would have made me feel slightly more cared for as a customer).

This letter has served as a small level of frustration management for me. However, I know that if I treated my clients as you have treated my custom, I wouldn’t have a business, and I certainly wouldn’t have the level of repeat business you have had from me thus far.


9 Proposed resolution
Please could you do the following:
1. have an engineer attend tomorrow between 1630 and 1900 to fix my laptop once and for all
2. call me tomorrow before 2pm or after 4pm to discuss resolution and goodwill.

While your products are fabulous, lightweight and sexy, I remain outrageously disappointed by your service.

Kind Regards,

Craft project I must do - Flickr Toys Calendar Jewel Case Instructions.

"Liking grandchildren more than your children is the emotional equivalent of preferring dessert over main course."

Courtesy of B, via email. That B needs a blog.

Faux bombs in Shepherds Bush - but is it art?

I think I may have died and gone to hummus/humous heaven: I have just discovered the existence of Hummus Bros - Give (Chick) Peas a Chance, a fast-food place dedicated entirely to humous. In London. On Wardour Street. I have to get there as soon as possible.

India Knight in today's Sunday Times on that haircare bill. Not that I need to tell you, but Cherie's in the news again. For something that really counts.

Broadly, India is pro large hair care charges for faux first ladies, on the basis that she can't do her own hair.

Here's what I think: it may be outrageous that Sandra Howard has her sidekick's sidekick blow-dry her hair in the back of the campaign van, but let's face it, she's got that straight, English hair. I think it's ludicrous to spend £275 a day on getting your hair done (we're not talking cuts or colours here, just a plain old style), but I can see Cherie wants to look good.

I know that answer. The problem is that Cherie has wavy/curly/slightly unruly hair, and she's trying to get it back in the box. She wants to look like everyone else; coiffed, groomed... done. Cherie needs to reach curl nirvana: she needs to learn to love her curls, and try and be her, not try and be other people.

So Cherie, my advice is simply this (spot the Shaders and Toners of Tony there?): go to a curly hair salon (I recommend Devachan or Ouidad in New York - shit, for what £7,000 you could get their top stylist to come to you). Get the hair cut that your hair needs - the one that's for you, not the one that makes you look like you think you ought to. Buy some decent curly hair products (I heartily recommend Devachan's Angell), leave your hair to dry. India may say the BBC is a curl-free zone (curly hair is "distracting", apparently - read scary/independent/non-conformist) but you need to stop looking like you've got a poker up your arse. We all know you like floaty clothes - real curls and waves are only a step away.

Get with the curl programme, girlfriend, and you'll stop looking like a cardboard cut-out of a PM's wife and start looking like you. And you'll get some respect from the masses who think £7,000 is (just about) a deposit on a first home, a car, a trip of a lifetime, some school fees... something that counts.

I just discovered that there's a Moleskin blog: moleskinerie.

It's been a while...

... a lot's happened.

First, of course, it's the middle of Pesach, and I cleaned (with assistance) my whole house and changed the pots and bought crazily-hecshered food. We had two great sedorim - there's something fascinating about seeing another family's minhagim, and I hung out with family and friends and ate far too much matzah.

I'm in Cheadle - second half only - and have had a great time with my nephews (J told me today his favourite sports are prickitt and goff). They are very excited I'm here, and it's nice to feel loved and wanted, especially by cute kids. We played jenga. We played computer games. We went to shul.

But, there's still something sad about coming back here. Well, to the shul, really. In my mind Cheadle - Yeshurun - is this mythic community, the place I grew up in, that spawned a generation of incredibly talented, creative people. The crowd I grew up with are actors, film directors, musicians, DJs (as well as a fair smattering of barristers and doctors), and I remember - possibly through rose-tinted glasses - a perfect childhood, a perfect community, a perfect shul. It's like every community I get involved with in adulthood is benchmarked against my warmest memories.

But being here now, it's not the same. Most people don't keep the end of Yom Tov - shul was empty. The chazzan was amazing, but contentious (you kinda love or hate that old-fashioned operatic chazzonus). The rabbi was a little shouty (but then rabonim often are). I see my parents and their friends, doing the work in the community that they were doing twenty or thirty years ago, and I don't see the next generation stepping up, and I wonder what will happen.

Also - in a minor way - it took a little time to recover from that gastro bug. Stomach still a little sensitive, not helped by too much matzah.

But what's been in the back of my mind since a week last friday is - and this is going to sound silly, so I'm sorry - my relationship with G-d (which I am still inclined to write that way, even though it's not a piece of paper).

As I get older, I think I have more... faith/connection... whatever you call that. There seem to be reasons for things, and for the things we don't really understand, some kind of context. But - and I don't mean this selfishly - I lost a friend, Melissa, someone I'd been in my Jewish women's group with for fifteen years. Later, I might write more about her, because I'd like to write some kind of ... testament to who she was and what she did. But for now, all I can think about is how unfair it is that someone in their thirties, with a husband and small child, how unfair is it that this should happen. And I feel angry that the good people sometimes get taken, even though I know it doesn't work that way. At least, I think it doesn't work that way.

So, I've been thinking a lot about M, and the life she lead, the things she did, and what it all means. Something of a crisis of faith, almost. Coupled with my shul-dilemma (whole separate conversation), I've been working out anew what I think, what I believe, what's important.

Of course some people know this already.

Until I work it out - and let's face it, this could be a while - I guess I just have to count my blessings. I'm lucky to have wonderful people in my life (hello, D), be part of two warm communities and a lovely family, have interesting work, a self-employed lifestyle that is pretty stress-free compared to my corporate days, time to write(sometimes), a lovely garden, which makes me very happy as I look out of my office window (once I was on the phone in the summer to an investment banker in New York and he said to me "are you, like, in the park?"), and a degree of... creativity/personal wherewithall/I know not what to call it that means I can enjoy every day for what it is.

I don't mean to be boastful. Of course my life isn't perfect, but I think I don't stop often enough to notice what I've got, so I am.

Like I said, interesting times.

Fantastic collection of paschal/sederic links at Jewschool - The Web is Your Passover Oyster (metaphorically speaking) from Shamirpower.

Busy day, busy day. Boutros Boutros Ghali. Peri Peri Chicken Chicken.

I'm not going mad, but I am cleaning for Pesach.

So far today, I have:

• sold my chametz (legitimately, I might add)
  
• done my Pesach shopping in three shops in Golders Green - only thing left to get kasher-le-pesach herbal tea. I have paid stupid money for stuff with hechshers on them, but hey.
• Bought haggadot
• About to clean my car
• Bought lots of wine (for people we are going to seder at)
• stopped in Starbux, crucial pre-paschal activity, of course...

Once, my (second) cousin said to me "what do non-Jewish people do on a Sunday?" meaning that we grew up in families were Sundays were largely (but not exclusively) about stonesettings and shivas. That's the price you pay for being involved in a large, vibrant community; you know more people, more people die.

I know that I'm grown up, because today I (very, extremely, sadly) am also going to a funeral and a stonesetting.

I went a little bit quiet: knocked out with a 24-hour nasty gatro-style bug. I am 90% recovered.

more linkage...

• Microsoft Re-Designs the Ipod Packaging .. hysterical.
• Bernard Shaw's Writing Hut .. Isn't this fabulous - Bernard Shaw's writing hut at the bottom of his garden. Oh, I want one.
• A pincer movement on the papers .. Great Mike Butcher piece: Craigslist is now in 192 cities, and only charges for want ads in three of them, and only $25 , while Craigslist competitors, like the New York Times, charge $300.
• morf.gif .. Fabulous little Escher-like non-flash animation.
• 'I have to stop myself ranting' .. CHAKRABARTI, Shami, (also known as Mrs M. J. Hopper) of Liberty fame.

The Apple Boot Camp public beta (in that web2.0 way where everything is in perpetual beta) might well mean my next PC is an Mac.

Turns out I spoke too soon on the how-cool-is-this-at-Sony front.

I check the tracking first thing, and it's out for delivery today. At 10am, it says "THE RECEIVER WAS UNAVAILABLE TO SIGN ON THE 1ST DELIVERY ATTEMPT. A 2ND DELIVERY ATTEMPT WILL BE MADE."

Weird, I was here all along.

I call my friend Amy at Sony Business, and they have attempted to deliver my shiny new laptop to Flat X, My Street, Rather than Flat X, Y My Street, Kilburn, which is the address on all our correspondence.

I'm busy writing something up today, so I'm available to receive it all day, but now Amy says it'll be tomorrow, and I'm at meetings for lots of the day, or Friday, where I am...

So, I spoke to soon. Amy said, "well, we did only say 90% delivery for Friday," and I said "what about exceeding my expectations?" and I am slightly stressed, and Amy is on the phone to people at UPS to try and get them to change the system. Which is hard. But if anyone can do it she/I can. I hope.

Because when you want something, and you are an immediately-girly, as I am, you want it. Also, I need a laptop.

Will keep you informed. If you care, I realise this is not such a big deal, really.

Had a great fun chilli-laden evening last night, including getting through three bars of Montezuma's fantastic chocolate (three pepper, chilli chocolate and cinamon (white) chocolate, since you ask).

Sony Vaio Delivery

Sony Vaio Delivery

So here's the story - for those who asked on my laptop.

I am a demanding customer. I like good design. I am stuck on the PC platform until Intel and Apple really makes it happen in a way that is Micro$oft-agnostic and doesn't hassle my clients who are mostly corporate M$ shops. I have one client who has kitted all his staff out with old-style macs, but then they aren't allowed voicemail either, and no-one can read my files.

Here's a history of all the laptops I ever owned.

• In the early nineties I bought an Elonex or something like it; the screen was tiny and black and white (or green, really) and I played a lot of patience.
  
• Then I had a sony laptop, can't remember what. It was OK.
  
• Then I ran my own business, and had a beautiful Vaio 505FX with a perfect metal case. But it let me down, and when I called Sony, all they could say is, to be really reliable, you need two. So I bought another one. Sucker for a sales pitch, me.
  
• Then I got made redundant from the Industry Standard, and I didn't have a job, but they gave me my IBM Thinkpad A20p. It's a workhorse piece of kit, but served me well in my early freelance-no-job days
  
• I bought a Sony Vaio TR1MP nearly a couple of years ago. I think I've been unluckly with the number of trips it's had to the Brussels healthfarm, although everything's technically as good as new, now.

So, I was this far from ordering a Toshiba Portege, and had gone through the entire spec with the Gadget Detective (aka my friend who knows everything there is to know about technology purchasing, and then some), and he said to me "Toshiba is mediocre design, mediocre service. Sony is good design, average service, you've just been unlucky. And you really want a Vaio, don't you?"

Because Sony Vaio's are for PC people who want a Mac, but can't handle the platform inertia. Design, without the advantages.

So I called Sony Business, and they had a bundle in stock, and everything was cool, and I was about to order it, and then Amy told me that I couldn't get it for an unspecified time, as they were (a) moving warehouses, and (b) didn't know how much stock they had.

But I'd made a purchase decision. A little thing like no stock wasn't going to get in my way. And I have this great database, called the internet, where I can find out anything. But when I googled for "head of product marketing at sony vaio" in a vicious, circular way, I got myself. So I called up the guy I knew from last time, but he's been promoted, so I found the new guy (it's always a guy) and explained that I was practically a lifetime customer, had a little word with him about lifetime customer value, and he said he could sort it.

Ten minutes later, Amy calls me back, slightly bemused. "We can express ship the item to you Tuesday. You know people in high places."

Which I don't. But I know how to shmooze and do the customer-service-manouevre, and I know how to get what I want (mostly).

So, new latop allegedly winging its way to Kilburn.

I will keep you informed.

Linkage:

• I have seen the Future - and it's Goth .. Is your boss a Goth? 10 telltale signs. Archly inane article from the Guardian - is there no real news?
• Open Letter - Public Geo Data .. State collected geodata is public property.
• 'Gang leader' held in Africa after Murder of Kidnapped Jew .. Seems like antisemitism is alive and well in France.
• Car sharers to get a Lane of their Own .. Carpool lanes on British motorways, sounds sensible to me.
• Killing me softly with salad dressing choices .. I'm trying to buy a TV, but I have choice inertia. Turns out I'm not the only one...
• British Gas chaos leaves thousands without heat .. Turns out I'm not the only person who's more than unhappy with British Gas (don't even say "three star contract" to me).

Property prices - a very London-dinner-party conversation. Since the Land Registry data was opened up, there's a number of players:

• OurProperty.co.uk are interesting, good interface, but you have to signup to a free account, and there's a montly search limit.
  
• my previous favourite, nethouseprices.com have just redesigned the interface and frankly, searching is harder
  
• this week's winner is houseprices.co.uk, who not only have a lovely, minimal web2.0 look about them, but also have a googlemaps mashup so you can see prices visually. They get the prize*.

* the prize is a plate of homemade humous with za'atar. Please email me to arrange collection.

Special thanks to Justin for pointing me in the direction of this fabulous paschal linkage: it's like a manic seder. Love it.

My buddies at Ghettoplotz made Timeout. Yay.

I have been a little quiet for the following reasons:

• I am waist-deep in a great project, which is connecting all the dots of my varied interests.
  
• my laptop died. Again. Can you believe? Anyway, it's gone off to a Brussels health farm (aka Sony repair centre) and the UPS pickup bloke and I had a deja vu moment when he came to collect it. It's twoish years old, it's a laptop. These things happen. They will fix it.
  
• In the meantime, I have ordered a new laptop because (a) I need one and (b) it's my year end. I was all ready for a Toshiba Portege, and then, at the last moment, went Sony again. New Vaio winging its way to me as soon as their warehouse move is over.
  
• I efficiently transferred my cash ISA to people who had a better rate. Nearly a month ago. Turns out they send a cheque, second class, with no signed receipt or security tracking. How twentieth century. The Abbey have no idea where my money is, and some bloke (Robert) in the Chairman's office had never even met the Chairman.
  
• We had a freeholders meeting for my block, which has been re-arranged three times since Jan 4th, and two people didn't turn up, one because they "didn't know about the meeting" despite emailing confirmation of their attendance to my neighbour
  
• I have written a list for my Pesach cleaning. It is long.