Friday, June 30, 2006

The pro-bono argument: should Holocaust survivors have to effectively pay legal fees to get their money?
Proof - should it be required - that one should be most careful what you write about yourself on the internet. Pentagon sets its sights on social networking websites (from the New Scientist).
Just when I'm working up to a position where I may, possibly, be prepared to get on a bike in the city, I discover this: Cycle deaths rise as more beginners climb into the saddle - in today's Times.

Travis Perkins customer service message

So my shower broke, and I did a whole load of research about replacing it, and then I just thought life is too short to learn everything there is about shower technology just to make a decision. Sometimes, being a data-oriented perfectionist takes its toll.

So I went down to Travis Perkins in West Hampstead, where I originally bought my bathroom (although the bloke there feigned ignorance about the whole thing, because my receipt said Ealing, but that's only because I found a bloke on the phone in Ealing who would give me a 20% volume discount, and the guys in NW6 were not up for that).

I take my (dead) shower in, with photos of the wall, and we discuss it in great length. Of course I can't just replace it, they don't make it any more. And anyway, I have learned that you should never buy plastic shower pieces, because they break. And also, it's all down to who fits it.

Eventually, I order a chrome shower arm, and three-shower head. It comes to just under £100, which seems a lot for a shower, and he won't give me a discount, but I just cut my losses and buy it.

What made it all worthwhile, is this. He keys in my order, and on the last screen, he gets this message:

"He whose ranks are united in purpose will be victorious" Sun Tzu.
Queue at T counter, get the sales team to help out.


He tells me there is a bloke in head office who earns more than all of them, whose job it is to write these, and it changes every day.

This is my PhD thesis: Application of the Art of War to plumbing goods wholesaling in the early twentyfirst century.

It'll be a winner. Just need to get funding.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Go on, make a visdifferble ence. You know you want to.

Contributed by erstwhile in-house photographer B, who apparently sprinted up the Hampstead Road to catch this one.

Someone should lose their job, right?
On a train, yesterday, I met a guy (he's the bloke on the right with the fabulous curly hair) from a band called shepherdspi. That's like Shepherd's Pie, but with no apostrophe, and like pi, in maths. Obviously, they have a myspace page. We all want to be the Arctic Monkeys.

I'm kinda liking their thang.
I wish it to be known that, while I haven't written/blogged anything about recent events in Israel/Gaza, I'm watching every waking moment.
Yesterday, I was on a train, and James Nesbitt kept walking up and down. Like, four times.

Now, I am the hugest Cold Feet fan there is; not only is it great writing, but it's set in Manchester (South, Didsbury).

And James - Jim - is the best and coolest. Although he is doing those stupid yell.com adverts. But they're funny. But he must be doing it for the money. But then people need to earn money...

So he was running up and down the train. Not buying anything, almost like he wanted people to notice him. One thing I noticed, he's thin. TV really does make you add ten pounds.

But I reckon there's nothing worse than being on a train, showing off, trying to stay low-key, but wearing a t-shirt that says "I may have low self-esteem, notice me", and then people come up to you and say "I love your work. Especially the phone ads".

Anyway, he didn't notice me, either.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Two erstwhile honorary sashinka bloggers have sent me these great sites for frummers looking for sni'ut wear.

Looking for modest clothing that doesn’t sacrifice your sense of style? Aren't we all.

WholesomeWear and FunkyFrum.

I'm taking my cleavage straight down there.
Definition of Anglo-Jewry: you go to a shul for three years, no-one speaks to you.

Eventually, in the fourth year, someone speaks to you. They say, "excuse me, but you're sitting in my seat."

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

I'm feeling slightly nervous about blogging this, because I don't know if it's true.

But then part of me thinks, no smoke without fire. But then what do I know? It's only my opinion.

So yesterday's News of the World - not a paper I've ever even bought - had a story about a Manchester rabbi who allegedly frequents whorehouses; I read a Ynetnews report on it.

As you know, I'm from Manchester, and some of my relatives are even bearded.

Aside from the rights and wrongs of supporting the sex industry (probably against halacha), what really gets me is the language of the piece.

It's like every red-top editor's dream, I guess. But still. Maybe it's because I read a broadsheet (frankly, any broadsheet).

But this?

"Preacher has it oy vey with hookers"

or this:

"He can't get enough already: Rabbi J****'s a regular at a brothel"

or this:

"Randy rabbi D**** J**** has been getting sch-mucky with a string of hookers" (because, as we all know, all Jewish words begin with sch..)

and this:

"... turning their brothel into his own personal sin-agogue"

Seems to me, dredging up Jewish stereotypes is alive and well among some journalists at the News of the World. It's not even about whether he did or didn't. It's about highlighting something defining about him, and caricaturing it to almost ridiculous levels. It's possible to imagine the news room with people going round doing Old-Jew no-neck impressions, and talking in translation from Yiddish. If he was a bank manager, would they wear suits and count money?

Counter argument, apparently; someone from his family states: "He was set up by drug dealers who he tried to stop from selling to jewish kids he is suing the paper." Quite how that computes, I don't know, but I'd be interested to hear his side of the story.

And reading through the comments on the Ynetnews site (up to 113 when I last looked): there's lots of support for him, and the intimation that this is a setup based on the Richard Desmond-JC spat (although I believe the NOTW is from the News International Stable, it's not Desmond getting his own back).

Rough translation: a Jew may or may not have done something wrong, but everyone's got their knickers in a twist.
Searing weather for three weeks, first day (yesterday) we're supposed to be having the outside of our house painted - it rains.

So they started this morning, and it turns out they like classical music. I am playing (not personally) the Brandenburg Concertos.
When I had a job-job, I used to have a lot of vacation deprivation (I even have a friend who came back early from his honeymoon, he was so worried about work).

Nowadays, I plan better.
I'm just not at all Ohr Somayach - if anything, I think it's a slight cult. But mouseover the "born to lead" graphic...
What Makes us Happy? If only it was that simple. This Madeleine Bunting chaired event at the Wellcome Trust/Soho Theatre looks interesting, though.
My cyclage-encouragement buddy has just sent me this, after his first cycle to work:

Cons: slightly sweaty (think it's time to invest in some neon lycra). Need to stretch. Possibility of death. Risk of piles.

Pros: quicker than tube. Cheaper than tube. Healthier. Thighs of steel. No one's likely to put a parcel bomb under your crossbar. You always get a seat.

I must get back on my bike. Perhaps I too will be as entertaining.

Monday, June 26, 2006

This just in from the Cheadle grapevine: someone I grew up with (well, the older brother of someone I grew up with) is apparently going out with Robbie William's mum. Allegedley.

rubber band ball

So last week, long story, I got lost on the way to an appointment, and I was on foot, and things take so much longer when you don't have a car. But it's better for both you and universe.

Anway, I figured if I asked a postman for directions, he would definitely know the way, and not only did he know he way, he offered me a lift in his van.

The floor of his van was covered with red rubber bands, of the exact type I collect, and he had loads round his gear stick (this is not a metaphor). He gave me a huge handful (see photo) for my collection, and it now has a diameter of approximately 5cm.

Why I am doing this I do not know. But it makes me happy.

balloon2

Got back in to London Friday afternoon - brief sojourn in Leicester - and it was a gorgeous sunny day, perfect sky, bizarre huge balloons floating around outside St Pancras.

St Pancras is really: modern. I'd not been to the new station. I love how they've cleaned up the old gothic brick, but built a modern structure within it.

Friday, June 23, 2006

fruit cocktails, cru, hoxton

Met up with J in Hoxton for (fruit) cocktails. Mine is on the left; lime and basil presse (topped with sparking water, no sugar syrup, at my request, just a teaspoon of sugar) - deliciously refreshing, and a lot less sweet and cloying than I would generally want, but nice, J's is apple and ginger and mint and almond (syrup).

Can't believe it's four years since I went to the Cru pre-opening; business looks good.

sky over Kilburn tube, last night

Early stages of sunset last night. This is not stage-lit, this is the real world. On the Kilburn tube northbound platform, getting of the train from town, me and two other light junkies, standing there with our mobile phones, oooing and aaahing at the wonder of the light.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

This morning, I walked past the Yoga in Daily Life centre in Brondesbury.

It looks interesting, but the most disturbing thing is that they abbreviate themselves to YIDL. Yidl? Mitn fidl? It just means "little Jew" in Yiddish. Perhaps they don't know.
Everyone makes mistakes.

I've been known to wear horizontal stripes (unflattering), I didn't liquidate my India position early enough in the recent market "correction", once I had one too many glasses of Pinot Grigio at a party, and said some rather truthful, but ultimately unkind things.

But my biggest mistake this week, is this. A friend was thinking of retraining as a copywriter, she wants to work from home, and she asked me to check out the Copydoctor (TM) online classes.

So I did. I was compelled by the copy, so much, I almost bought it, but then I remembered: I was a copywriter. Been there, done that. So it looked like a great course, but probably wouldn't give you the leads to agencies/brands who do the whole copy control shtick, but whatever.

So I downloaded his 18-minute video, and it was interesting. Ish. I went to roast some vegetables, and when I was back, he was still critiquing. But hey, whatever's your bag.

Luckily, I'd signed up with a most-used-for-span hotmail address. Which is good, because since last Thursday, I've had eleven follow-up emails from him. Eleven. Count 'em. If I didn't know that I'd entered the first stage of a sales cycle that doesn't end until either Michel Fortin gets my cash, or I jump out of a very tall building window, I'd think I'd got a new stalker.

Don't do it, kids.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

So I'm getting greener than though, and seriously considering purchasing both an Electrisave wireless electricity monitor or a plug-in mains power and energy monitor. But I might find out things I don't like.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Talk about the end of an era - Top of the Pops is being axed.

Monday, June 19, 2006

National Bike Week 2006 (17-25 June) started on Saturday.

Which is fortuitous, because I have spent a lot of time recently thinking about whether I am prepared to get back on my bike.

Backstory: I had a ladies' Raleigh bike as a teenager, and cycled locally, and may even have got 100% in my cycling proficiency.

Then I came to London, land of cars and tubes and never really did. About five or six years ago, I thought about it again - I have lots of green friends who cycle to work and are hard-core about their carbon footprint - and even went on a semi-cycling holiday in Derbyshire three or four years ago.

Thing is, I live in zone two and there are a lots of cars, and I'm scared of them. Also, you're a fool if you don't wear a helmet, but helmets (polystyrene type thing, I mean) and Jewish hair do not mix. I need to invent cycling headgear that aerates your hair as your cycle.

Three-ish years ago, I got my bike all fixed up, and was going to cylce to a friend's round the corner, and then I got on the Kilburn High Road and the cars were really close, and I got freaked out.

So my bike is in my shed. And also, it's a road bike, it's from before mountain bikes, so it's not cool. And I'm kinda unfit, and nervous. But I'm green and recycle. And hate parking, even if I'm good at it.

Who knows...
I appear to be an Ortho-Blog. Who knew.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

I am mesmerised by G-whizzim, recently. Either pink or purple. This piece in today's Sunday Times on battery cars gives it the thumbs up.
Up and out early, today.

Not my natural choice, but our unseasonably hot weather keeps doing this too me. I've got a lot less sleep in the last couple of weeks - hasn't everyone - and keep waking up full of the joys of and raring to go.

Had a lovely day, yesterday. Got to shul early. I have a troubled and complex relationship with the shul I mostly call home. It's a long story (tell me a Jewish thing that isn't), but this is the place where many of my friends are, and even the people who might not be my friends are very lovely. Belonging to a community is probably one of my key values, if I think about it like that, and now I'm not totally sure where or if I belong.

A friend used to tell me that they thought I was very spiritual. I don't think I am. But I think that everyday, practical Jewish life is very... involving. So activity can be taken as a cipher for spirituality. Although I love the wonder and silence of shul early, the deep stillness that distills my thoughts and sometimes, I think maybe...

So I davened, and then the Rabbi made a rather shouty sermon, which didn't really do it for me (he's 100% less shouty in person; I think it's just his sermonal style), and went to lunch at T&L's. We ate wonderful (non-earnest) vegetarian food, and talked in a shouty Jewish way - there was a French woman there who I'm sure could only get about 20% of what we were saying, as not only did we talk fast, but two of us had slight northern accents. It felt like five minutes later and it was suddenly 6.30.

There is nothing quite so restorative as spending a sunny day in the garden with good friends, nice food and warm conversation.

Friday, June 16, 2006

websitegraphs

Graphic representation of my tags - I think this means I have a lot of links, quite a lot of quotes/linebreaks, a bundle of images and not much else (see below)

blue: for links (the A tag)
red: for tables (TABLE, TR and TD tags)
green: for the DIV tag
violet: for images (the IMG tag)
yellow: for forms (FORM, INPUT, TEXTAREA, SELECT and OPTION tags)
orange: for linebreaks and blockquotes (BR, P, and BLOCKQUOTE tags)
black: the HTML tag, the root node
gray: all other tags

What all the sub-trees mean, I have no idea.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

I just listened to In Business on Radio 4, and I heartily recommend you do the same before they take it down.

It's about web 2.0, pronounced all the way through the programme by Peter Day as "web two point nought", although someone else they interviewed said "web two dot nought." Carolyn McCall got it right. Not that how you pronounce the latest webjargon matters (wait till you hear him describe a kid's myspace page as a "an Internet page" which you just know he is spelling with a capital I), it's just that surely not everyone can be marching out of step?
Hey, I think I just invented a word - ephemerables. Ephemeral consumer durables, clearly. Must tell that Wordspy bloke.
For people who like to know these things - Apple iPods in theUK Apple Store have been reduced by approximately £10 each, because of the dollar/pound exchange rate.

The (financial) world may be falling apart, but at least we can get our consumer ephemerables cheap.
I am hysterical, I am undone (but in a good way). Laughing out loud while I listen to Merlin Mann from 43 folders talking about how he didn't write an O'Reilly Lifehacks book with Danny O'Brien [via LMG].
The Royal Academy Summer exhibtion opened this week - did you see the crazy story about the judges who accepted the plinth but not the sculpture from one artist?

Check out some of the works here.
So, obviously I don't think this is how computers really work (at least, I hope I don't think this), but I appear to have, inadvertently got my laptop's wireless to work.

As with all the best solutions, I did nothing. If there's one thing I've learned over the last two and a half years (and I've learned a lot), it's that technical problems are not life-threatening, and calmness is just, well, calmer.

So I'm typing quietly, because in a tempting-fate way, I'm nervous of the Sony Vaio wireless gods hearing me and teaching me a lesson. But what I did, is this.

I turned off my laptop for two days, to "give it a rest". When I turned it on this morning, the wireless works. QED.

If you have any tech problems you need me to solve with my unique combination of limited knowledge, learned helplessness and superstition, let me know.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Apparently, Windows gets a big security update today. Where is it? My PC usually just kinda does it, but it hasn't. Do you think it's for XP?

sony vaio ad

Rather ironically, I saw this at Heathrow, on my way back from Israel.

Right now, I'm not crusing at all, Vaio-wise, but can't face having to call them.

working lunch

Sometimes, especially in hot weather, I'm very happy that I work from home, mostly.

So when I hear that it's 32 degrees on the tube, coupled with the flexibility of the self-employed lifestyle, I feel pretty lucky. Of course, there are ups and downs, there are times when you have less and more work, and you have to be good at cashflow, but - mostly - it works for me.

Remember when you had a job and you had to wait in for the Gas Man or a delivery, and you took a day/afternoon off, and they didn't turn up, and then you'd have to do it again? You'd age about five years, and mostly not even get your boiler serviced?

Well, I'm mostly home, so it's lo-stress.

Yesterday, mini-heatwave, I had a light lunch on the terrace with my marketing strategy and competitor documents.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

You may wonder why I'm up so late.

Partly, because my body-clock's all to pot, as I've been working Asian/pan-Pacific hours, for a project, just completed. And it's hot, so it's hard to sleep.

Also, just got back from a fabulous evening with M&S (who at some point I will call S&M, I'm sure) with T&L and B - in Manna in Primrose Hill. Frankly, as a kinda-vegetarian, there's nothing quite like being in a restaurant where you can eat everything, and it's all fabulous (and better than you can make yourself).

Celebratory evening, as M&S are getting married, and I was part of the small-group who set them up, and, frankly, it's a very lovely warm-cuddly feeling. Sometimes you think life's about the nice house and the car and the job and the clothes (or the carbon footprint and the yoga and the hemp shirts; whatever's your eco-bag), but actually, life is about people, and relationships and looking out for your friends and family, and there's nothing so fabulous as knowing you played the tiniest part in someone else's destiny.

Conversation ranged from quotative like, northern dialects, that bloke at the Royal Free who started the MMR scare, the kindertransport, the Blair-Cameron continuum. We were loud, and excited, and feeling truly celebratory. A wonderful, warm evening, to be treasured.
So while I'm still on the google front page for sony tx2 problem (and will probably remain so for as long as I keep self-referrentially linking myself in a pop-will-eat-itself way), I have another one.

Another problem, that is.

So there was a bit of a hoo-har between me and Adam, because on day 68 of my purchase transaction, it transpired my insurance documents (which I'd paid extra for), hadn't arrived. They managed to deliver them to the (previous) wrong address three times.

So I finally got them Friday, and then, guess what?

My wireless card started playing silly-buggers. Exact same problem, except that we already, as I'm sure you remember, retro-upgraded the wireless card so that, theoretically, the problem is fixed. Apparently. I can't face talking to first line technical support, feel a fool calling the third line tech guy. But my wireless is intermittent again, and I have a top of the range/limited edition laptop.

I am stuck. I am undone.

But not as much as I was by the fiasco of getting my insurance documents. A new character, Michelle, who I'd never heard of previously, emailed me to say that in recognition of additional hassle, they would send me something.

Our correspondence went something like this:


Dear Michelle,

Thank you for sending me the documents electronically.
I do not have an alternative address, so I am not able to supply one. And frankly, mailing documents to a verified postal address is not that difficuly. Given that I receive mounds of post daily, I suspect that there isn't a problem at my end.

You clearly were initially sending the documents to an incorrect address, replicating a problem that Sony had (twice) when I placed my order 71 days ago.

Sheesh.

Regards
Sasha

* * *

Dear Sasha,

Due to the "wrong address" issues that occurred on our side when trying to mail you the insurance documents, we have decided to compensate you by offering you a

80GB GigaVault!

As this item is rather valuable, I don't want to take any risk by sending it via a regular postal service and I therefore intend to have it shipped via DHL. Please kindly let me know if you agree with that proposal as it means that you will have to be present for collecting the parcel. An alternative, if you prefer, is to have it sent to your office, up to you to decide.

Kind Regards,
Michelle

* * *

Dear Michelle,

Thank you for your email.

While I appreciate that you are offering me an 80GB Gigavault, I'm not sure it would be very useful to me; I already have two external hard drives (incidentally, both with larger hard drives). Having looked around the Sony site as well as the web, the 80GB Gigavault doesn't appear to be on sale anywhere in the UK, and I can't help wondering if this product is still commercially available.

Yet again, you have done what suits "you" (Sony), not what suits "me" (the customer). Throughout this whole ridiculous fiasco, your corporate needs have appeared to come before my customer needs. From the top of the range TX2 that I purchased, and from my continuing correspondence with Sony, it ought to be fairly straightforward to realise that I'm an early-adopter type, and offering me seemingly obsolete or discontinued stock items is, frankly, just a little insulting.

You may also be interested to know that, despite receiving lots of post today, including a recorded delivery item, your insurance documents have still not arrived. Please confirm that the electronic documents you sent me are sufficient, should I need to claim, and that there is now no requirement for me to receive the paper documents.

For your information, can I also make it clear for the umpteenth time in my 72 day purchase cycle, that I have neither an alternative address or an office, as I am self-employed. Sony has known this since March 29th.

Regards
Sasha


No reply as yet. I think - I know - I have to stop. It doesn't really matter. But it would be nice if the goods worked.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Tomorrow night on Radio 4 - Bespoken Word. Sounds great, with many of my personal favourites, including Benjamin Zephaniah, John Cooper Clarke (not to be confused with John Cougar Mellencamp) and Attila the Stockbroker. Can't wait.
Question - can you see pollen? I have been mainlining Loratadine for the last few days, and I also see lots of floaty wispy things (forgive non-scientific language) near trees and nature. I wonder if they are related.

Race for Life, start, June 11th 2006

I did the Race for Life in Hampstead, yesterday, with my friends from Women's Group, in memory of Melissa. It was a hot, hot day, and actually, very emotional. Not only because we were remembering our friend, but because everyone was remembering someone. Every woman had a pink square on her back saying "I race for life for..." and the humaness of it all was quite overwhelming.

We've not totally counted up, but it looks like we've raised nearly £4,000 between us.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Can you believe we all missed National Be Nice to Nettles Week?
So roundabout now, four years ago, I was meeting Anna in a coffeeshop in Kings Cross to go to XCOM - Extreme Computing 2002.

It seems a lifetime ago. I remember getting to the Camden Centre, and seeing all the geeks, and thinking, this is my tribe. There were people from some tech projects I'd worked on, bloggers, people from the Industry Standard. It was. Well. Mindblowing, in a way.

Here's what I thought at the time.
How apt - I am on the Google front page for malcolm gladwell jewish girls. Hello, Malcolm.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

duty free

I think this was in the airport in Budapest. Maybe it means something in Hungarian.

don't forget to not bring your gun

You know, I nearly packed my gun, and then I remembered the sign.

burnttoast

Don't get me wrong, I love Desperate Housewives, and I think Teri Hatcher is a good actress. Although Susan is ditzier than I'd like, but hey, she's a fictional character.

So last night, meeting a friend in Hampstead for coffee, waiting in the Waterstones (surely a name for an eighties band?) I flicked through Burnt Toast, and was, well, flabbergasted.

It's on the "you must buy this" shelf near the door. The blurb reads:

Toast, you know when you're trying to make it and you just can't get it right? It's too light or too soft, then totally burnt. Are you the kind of person who tries to scrape off the black? Or do you smother it with jam to hide the taste? Do you throw it away, or do you just eat it?

And I'm not kidding, it really does say that. Her entire life philosophy is based on the fact that she used to eat burnt toast because she didn't, like care for herself, but now she doesn't (eat it. but does care).

You just know that she went out for lunch with her agent, and when they were both a little too drunk to be intelligent anymore, she came up with this frankly half-baked idea, and because she's "a celebrity", someone's ghost-written it and it's a real book.

One I suspect I'm not buying.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

LifeHack: losing your wallet efficiently

So, about every five years I lose my wallet. Not bad odds - last time I had it lifted by a charming old lady on the number 16 bus, in around 1999.

This time, somewhere between Tesco, my cousin's house and B's house, I lost it.

Time was, I'd be stressed, angry, create additional blood pressure angst; generally, be uncalm.

Since I life-hacked all my personal admin a few years ago, my life is just more organised. And about six months ago, I decided not to keep every single card I own in my wallet. So my wallet has my current account card, one credit card, and one charge card.

Another credit card (used largely for internet purchases) I leave by my desk, and I have a separate small wallet for my Tate and V&A memebership card, gym card, loyalty cards etc.

So, it's not so bad. When I realised this morning, I checked the three relevant accounts online, no activity. I even waited until I'd made my priority business calls, cancelled the three cards, and one of the replacements is even arriving by courier tomorrow. Whole thing, ten minutes (but then I do have "special friends" in two of the three places).

And I keep a small amount of cash at home, so I'm not cashless, and I've got my usually-internet-only credit card, as well as the cashline card for my business account (they are sending me a PIN super-speedy).

So, my advice:
  • don't leave all your cards in one place
  • leave one at home, for emergencies
  • have some cash at home
  • have a nice life
  • try not to lose your wallet
  • Tuesday, June 06, 2006

    Great BBC resource on RSS - The Feed Factory.
    I'm a little confused by Privacy Issue the kinda-blog by Frank Z White.

    So it "blurs the lines between fiction and reality" and some of the people are real (I think) and some not. And the whole thing is written kinda like a film script, which makes it a meta-commentary on his own life.

    There's a lot of... stuff, on the web.
    Why use a short word when a long word will do? Honorificabilitudinity. Apparently a form of the longest word Shakespeare used.
    It's Anne Frank Day next Monday, and there's also an exhibition of previously unseen photos at St Paul's cathedral, which closes Monday.

    Monday, June 05, 2006

    To be honest, it's been a bit of an intense few weeks. Three funerals, a handful of births, and a few arguments (small scale).

    In the airport on the way to Israel, I saw my friend Melissa's new book, Amazon.co.uk: The Learning Curve, which I thoroughly enjoyed on my journey, and left with J in Israel.

    But I felt very sad, reading the acknoledgements, because Melissa knew that she probably wouldn't see her book published, and there was a beatiful message to her family inside.

    A few of us, from our Women's Group (we've been together for seventeen years) are walking in Melissa's memory on Sunday, for the Race for Life (there's a link on the right, if you want to support us, although there's no compulsion at all), and my Race for Life kit just came in the post.

    There's a paper sponsorship form (kinda retro, we did nearly everything online), a glossy marketing piece (although why they need one, I don't really know), my number for the front of our shirts, and then a pink card for the back that says "I Race for Life for...". And when I unpacked it, and saw that, I just cried.

    I remember when my grandpa died; I was four. To me, my grandpa was an old man, and I missed him. I shared a room with my grandma during the shiva (week of mourning) and she told me a lengthy bubbie meiser about how he had gone to heaven and was helping Gd and the angels, and if I looked carefully enough, I could see him. I walked around looking at the sky till I walked into a lampost and knocked myself out.

    It was only when I was older that I realised what a tragedy it was; my dad was in his thirties and my grandpa was in his fifties and it was a terrible, terrible loss. But I was a kid, and I didn't really understand, and in some ways that's good, because life just carries on.

    Now I'm older I understand as much as anyone can how things happen, but why? That never really makes sense, and I guess you can't drive yourself crazy trying to work it out. Some things just are.

    And I think pain and sadness don't really help - sure, of course, there's a grieving period - when people are gone, certainly for me, I think a celebration of who they are or were is more... real.

    Like at a shiva, people often talk about the deceased, and their memories and stories about them. And I guess all the things someone taught you, or shared with you, they stay with you forever.

    Every single moment is really precious, I'm coming to realise. Maybe that's why I'm stuck taking photos of flowers. I love the beauty and imperfect-perfection of Gd's creation. We live in a wonderful beautiful world, and even as I write, I can hear the zone-two birdsong, and it reminds me. Of these things.

    But I can't help feeling a little sad, too.
    You know how it is; you go away for a few days, and all your technology gets tempermental. So my printer seems to have gone to SLEEP, and my mobile phone has lost its ringtone. I mean, none of it's life-threatening, it's just two more things to add to my ever-lengthening list.

    While I was away, fairies came to my house and made sure there were no dead birds, and cleared up. Thank you:)

    Sunday, June 04, 2006

    Chabad, at Ben Gurion

    So they have a Lubavitch... stand, stall? at the airport. I don't 100% know why. I guess it's possible that someone could be about to get on the plane, just stocked up on duty frees, and then suddenly thinks to themselves, "hell (or some other word) I forgot that I wanted to be really religious, but not necessarily in the tradition of my family, I know, I'll check out Lubavitch."

    I mean, I guess that can happen.

    See the guy leaning against the bar, white shirt, beard? I think he's like the salesman. He looks for all the world like the caterer at your frum cousin's barmitzvah, touting for future work. I feel like if we got up close, he might have a chopped liver stain on his shirt.

    My prejudice. YMMV. Some of my best friends are Chabad (no, really). Blah blah blah.

    man, davenning

    I feel like this man has a story. Not least because he is padding round Budapest airport in his socks, clutching his tallis (prayer shawl), fervently seeking a minyan. And I know he davenned already.

    I feel like he's ba'al teshuvah (born again, ish). I don't know why.

    Somehow, the plane feels safer knowing that there are a substantial number of men dressed as eighteenth century Polish noblemen. Don't ask me why.

    early shacharis - Ben Gurion, 5.30am

    It feels like something... totally ancient is happening when I hear people (men, let's face it) spontaneously daven. I knew I couldn't join in, but I sat near them, and hearing the mumbly niggunim (tunes) of my childhood felt in some way faintly comforting. I don't know these men, but they look like (Ashkenazi) men the world over, and sound and shokkel like them, too.
    Although, as it happens, I didn't wait too long.

    As I was leaving, J was IMing with S (which I realise makes us all sound about fifteen) who I haven't seen for 20 years, and he lives right near the airport, so he came and had coffee with me at like 3am. It was lovely to catch up, talk webdevelopery stuff so early in the morning, and reconnect. I am sounding rather American. But then it's 8am (London time) and I'm in Budapest and, frankly, a little tired.

    waterfountain

    So, it's, em, a well-known-fact that Jews in general (if such generalisations are possible) have something of a weak bladder. Or at least, have a lot of comedy routines about spending too much time in the bathroom.

    So why the departures concourse of the airport has a huge great floor-to-ceiling water fountain, I will never know. I crossed my legs through my whole wait.

    jerusalem stone

    So I didn't make it to Jerusalem - flying visit, and all that - but luckily there's plenty of stone in the shiny-new (or not so new, I've not visited for a while) airport. Almost spiritually uplifting, the scale et al when you arrive.

    caesarea, dark sky

    The sky over Caesarea, in the taxi on the way to Auntie F's funeral.

    Saturday, June 03, 2006

    So, a restorative jaunt to the Holy Land, and a wonderful shavuot (cheesecake festival, will link my previous story when I get a chance) and shabbat with J, G and family. Sorry I didn't get to see or even talk to J or A, but on a flying visit, there just isn't time to do everything, sadly.

    It's hot here, damn hot, in the words of the movie. The kind of steamy, still hotness that we never get in the UK.

    I'm travelling back overnight, so don't expect me to be fabulous company tomorrow, but you never know; if I sleep on the plane, maybe I'll be raring to go when I land. Maybe I'll surprise you.