sashinka | observation orientated, with a twist of lime | a blog

Travails in UK Travel - Lessons Learned in Call Centre Hell

Off to Derbyshire Sunday morning. Should be easy, right? I look online and discover London to Buxton requires a change at Macclesfield for a bus delivered by an unknown supplier. So I call up the Virgin Enquiry line, and get told that it's not a bus; I should change at Stockport (where my parents live) and wait for an hour and twenty minutes for my connecting train.

"But what about the bus it says online?"
"We don't do buses. It must be a mistake."

The helpful CSR told me to call the booking line because they would have accurate information. Yesterday afternoon a 3-day advance ticket was £39. So I call the booking line and get caught in a call-centre loop, where they keep pre-qualifying me over and over again. I feel a fool, talking at a dalek-style machine.

The Machine: Thank you for calling National Rail Enquries. To help us, please tell us where you are traveling from
Me: London
The Machine: and to
Me: Buxton
The Machine: What day?
Me: Sunday
The Machine: morning or afternoon?
Me: morning
The Machine: are you travelling alone?
Me: Yes
The Machine: Have children?
Me: No

Then I got stuck in a loop where it kept asking me like fourteen times if was travelling alone and whether I had children. I figure it's some sort of scheme to make women in their thirties feel bad and improve the birth rate.

Eventually, I gave up, and when I called back when I got back late last night, the friendly machine told me to get lost, ie they were closed. So much for the 24 hour society.

I called this morning, and both the helpful CSR and his supervisor said they could only sell me a £51 ticket now. I explained that I unsucessfully tried to cross their palm with silver last night, but they can't fight the system, apparently.

So I called Virgin Customer Relations in Birmingham. Their on-hold message tells you they currently have no computers. By this time I was laughing like I was in a third world country and knew that I had to keep verifying the information just to check it's right.

I talked to Sonia.

"Sonia; I've been trying to buy a ticket to Buxton since 5pm yesterday. I still don't know if it's a bus or a train, but I frankly don't care anymore, I just want a ticket. I'll take my chances. And I'm not going to charge you for my therapy bills now that I've had to acknowledge fourteen times that I don't have children and am traveling alone. Yes, I am a childless loner, but I just want to buy a ticket."

To her credit, Sonia immediately offered not only to put me directly through to the ticket purchase line without queuing, but also a rebate of the difference, provided I supplied evidence. Could I write a letter. Sure, I said, what's your fax number.

"Our fax is broken."

Truly the technology age at Virgin ,eh.

Lesson learned: life's too short to get hassled. Use the escalation procedure; go straight to complaints. Remain friendly and jokey at all times, with a subtle underlying hint that you won't go away until they give you what you want.

There's twenty quid in the post, apparently.