How To Shop: The Eleven Commandments
1 Know exactly what you are looking for
2 Conversely, just browse till you fall in love with something expensive and inappropriate
3 If you are unsure, leave the store. If the potential purchase calls to you from the shop, then you know
4 Always work out the cost per wear: £200 boots you'll wear everyday: way cheaper than a Starbucks
5 In fact, so cheap, if you really like them, you should get two pairs
6 Always buy two of something you really like; it just won't be there when you go back. But make sure it's timeless, otherwise you're buggered
7 Contrary to popular magazine advice, never buy timeless classics in the sales: look for something kooky and eccentric you'd never usually contemplate
8 If you eat two chocolate digestive biscuits, they cancel each other out. Whoops, wrong list
9 Never "think" about something for too long: most stores have about four sub-seasons per season, and there's very little chance of the same thing being there in your size when you want it
10 Know what suits you: don't succumb to strange unsightly trends because some over-hyped it-girl is wearing a pelmet skirt. If you have fat legs, wear black trousers
11 Don't wear black trousers every day, or people will realise you have fat legs and are following rule ten
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