sashinka | observation orientated, with a twist of lime | a blog

Junkmail Geneology
Obviously one can never have too many offers of herbal viagra, penis enlargement, or any manner of pyramid-selling operations, but I wonder if junk-hotmailing has reached a new era.

Because now, I don't just get junkmail - bad enough, I know - I get culturally relevant junkmail. So time was, when you're junk mail came from fdfdyn56@hotmail.com or some such other memorable name, and you knew to delete it straight away. But now it comes from real people. Seemingly.

I've kept a note of junkmail receipts over the last three weeks, and they have included missives from the following "people". Might be my cultural heritage, but they really do sound like people I know...

Bradley Coleman - someone I was in Bnei Akiva - Jewish Youth Movement - with, who's now married to that nice girl from Edgware
Tallula Aperovitch - a friend of my Grandma's from the old country who thought her name sounded "too Jewish" so adopted a film-esque first name
Patience Cividino - a Nigerian friend of mine's mother - she's very involved in their church in Ealing
Zinnia Edaline - she's half named-after-someone's Grandma, half pen-name celebrity-status chaser. Get the name first, right?
Bevis Manica - named after half of a well-known synagogue, Bevis married into the Italian Manica leather handbag manufacturing family
Yamin Syshe - really sure this is a bloke I met on the beach in Tel Aviv who thought I was "veri boot-i-fool". Though when I left, he moved onto the next woman
Zavad Yoninva - Yamin's best friend; they do the good-guy/better-guy routine on the beach with the tourists
Lanora Nazar - This might be that nice woman I sat next to on a bus between Tel Aviv and Jerusalem who shared her lunch with me. Of course, that was when people still got buses

So: this could be another Jewish-conspiracy type thing with hotmail. Or maybe a world-domination plan that doesn't involve any kind of extremists apart from tech-types. My question is: what a great job? OK, that's a statement. But can you imagine being at a party, and when people say "what do you do?" you say, "oh, I'm a Creative Director of Name Management at We'llJunkYouToDeath.com. What do you do?"

What you do is, trash your hotmail account. Life's too short. As - obviously - are my sentences. Sorry about that, I'm told I should be more discursive ocassionally, but I never get round to it. There; that's not bad, is it?