Been a tough day. Just got back from Claire's funeral. It just doesn't seem right to go to a friend's funeral.
Truth is, I've only ever been to Jewish funerals. There are good things about Jewish funerals - there's a rubric of what you say (I wish you long life), what you do (take food round, visit), which let's people not feel uncomfortable about how to respond. But there are things that are not so good, too: the funeral is always immediately, the same or next day, which is out of respect to the soul, but generally means that the mourners are still in shock. Today, while I reckon it'll take some time for the shock to wear off, the family had had some time to collect their thoughts. Her dad and husband spoke, and at the end, the priest gave out little laminated cards with a picture of Claire on one side, and the poem All Is Well on the back. I went to the wake afterwards. What was pretty amazing is that the weather's been shit today: on off raining and drizzle. But from 1pm when we got to the church, and all the time we were driving along the coast road to the wake, and even as we were leaving, the sun was shining, deeply, and the sea was blue and smooth. Almost, as if there was someone up there, fixing it.
I don't think I'll ever understand why young people die.
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